fight to be thin

Time for a makeover

2008-05-29T08:50:00.000+10:00

Time to update this blog. But first - a new look. Then I'll come back and post something

I love my mum

2008-05-12T11:36:00.000+10:00

I'm Not Pregnant

2008-05-09T18:43:00.006+10:00

(phew)

... but, I am very sore. After a trip to my GP, who is very nice except for the pushing and prodding of my sore belly, I now have to go get an abdominal CT, bloodtests, etc tomorrow and then report back. It's turning into quite an adventure, this little pain - The Quest for the Source of the Mystery Pain!

But in the good news area he didn't say 'run to hospital now! something's gonna explode!'

I did, however, throw up once he finished prodding me. ( It went something like this: Does this hurt? Yes. This? Yes. How about now? Ow!! *vomit*). Sorry, just realised that might be too much information. But I've typed it now, and I dislike deleting. He did say that it's higher than my ovaries, so not a burst cyst (good), but part of my digestive track is protruding (bad). I don't even know what protruding means? Sticking out? Bloated?

So, that's my weekend homework. 1. Go to get a bazillion tests done. Oh, and 2. finish my draft of my thesis to send to my supervisor on Sunday night. Oh, and 3. a practice file for Civil Lit, and 4. draft a will for C&E, and 5. a probate application, and 6. visit my mum, and 7. grandma, and 8. nan, and 9. catch up with an OS friend flying in Sunday night. And of course this year we have 2 mother's days - 10. D's mum is now family too. Stressful? Just a tad. Not because of the people, just because of the timing.

But, I love seeing my family. I'm sort of hoping I can just spend the weekend with my mum, D's mum, and my 2 wonderful grandmothers, and ignore everything else. We'll see...

But, now I have to go - my wonderful school friends are coming over with dinner soon (aren't they amazing? My friend AP has prepared dinner to cook and bring over, and CS is coming with drinks, and D & his friend H are bringing over nibbles, and all I have to do is enjoy the company and not be on my own. Heavenly) - so I have to make this unit look less like a blankets-and-textbooks-explosion and more like a home!

xxx

ps: those little tests are amazing! They change colour and make patterns and the tip goes hot pink! Nice touch.

Who Wears Short Shorts?

2008-05-08T11:14:00.007+10:00

I wore short shorts! ... and what a mistake that was.

I just got back in from my c25k w2d1 run walk as per my promise to Elisha, and it was harder than expected. But oh so good. And I ran so much futher than last time I did week 2, remember how last time I was finishing my cool down walk through the golf course when Short Round Retired Man told me I could keep going, so I ran to the bridge? This time I ran to the bridge before getting to the cool down phase of the run. I ran! I soared! I had fantastic form! I have incredibly sore legs!

I did stop a few times in the last 3 runs as The Pain came back up - because I still don't know what it is (more on last night's hospital visit in a sec) I didn't want to push to hard and rupture anything, unlikely though that may be.

But, back to the short shorts.

I swear, I have reverse body dysmorphic disorder - I have these days where I think I look just amazing. Now, don't get me wrong - I don't think I'm ridiculously hideous or that I can't look beautiful. I'm yet to meet a girl who doesn't look beautiful when she takes care of herself, let alone any girl who looks terribly ugly. But sometimes I wake up feeling super-glamorous. Like this morning. I was blown away by my ridiculously long legs, felt really in proportion - I felt like a size 8. Now, I do have very long legs (I'm 5'8, all of me is pretty long. When I'm thin I'm quite lanky), and I'm fairly well proportioned. But size 8?? I'm double that size. My BMI is overweight. I'm 86.9kg this morning! But I wasn't bloated - after all I haven't eaten that much the last few days thanks to The Pain.

So, I think to myself, I say, why not wear short running shorts?

I bought these little shorts when I got married. At the same time the Myers near my house closed down and everything became ridiculously cheap (the peach dress in the photo 2 posts earlier? $12.50). They're short, with pink stripes down the side and mini reflector panels for night running (ha! I actually thought I'd be a night runner!) and a teeny pocket for your key. They're quite cute. But they're short.

It started out ok, off I went on my walk, in my short shorts, semi-aware that my thighs touched just below where the shorts come to. And then I start running. And the shorts get shorter, and shorter, and shorter. My big white thighs were pulling my shorts up!

So I'm in this funny half-run-half-gait-style, shorts bunching, hands furiously pulling the shorts down, big white inner thighs flapping in the wind. Not the look I was originally going for! I must have amused everyone I ran past with my ridiculous run-pull-yank-run-flap-kick-to-the-side-pull-run routine. I certainly got some funny looks!

But I made it, and I felt good for it. And I have been reinspired to Lose Enough Weight That My Thighs Don't Touch.

A long legged shorts photo from Summer (07/08)

....

In other news, last night once D got home and had something to eat, we decided to go find a medical centre. We dropped by my parents to get my medicare card, but it was after 10pm and everywhere was closed. Of course, dropping by my parents meant they had a chance to get more concerned and convinced D to take me to the local hospital because it's probably appendicitis and my appendix could burst any second! Although not before my dad had the chance to ask if this was referred pain from not wanting to do my thesis! So, off we go, me saying "this is dumb, I should go to a dr tomorrow, it's not an emergency, we're just going to spend the night in a waiting room" etc etc.

Plus, because I'm in my mum's trakkies and D's hoodie with my flip flops and hair tied up loosely I figure they'll just think I'm a bum. (I'm in my mum's trakkies cause when we went to get the medicare card she declared my trakkies were too ratty to wear out and I had to change! oh she's cute)

Anyway, we get there. I sign some form saying I've read some Election Choice pamphlet and had it explained to me (which I never saw - this is a real sign I'm sick. Signing something I disagree with, the lawyer in me balked, but I just wanted it over with) and having rolled eyes from the clerk lady, who then refused to believe D and I were married as my medicare card is still in my maiden name and has my dad as the emergency contact. So what, our wedding rings are for some grand charade we decided to play on her in the emergency ward? Seriously. So she's to D "how do you know her?" and D's like "she's my wife" and she's like "no, really, how do you know her" ... grrr - so sure we're young, but I don't think he'd have had the same reaction with blonde hair and blue eyes.

Then we go to triage. And this is where I knew I'd feel like an inconvenience, and I do.

Nurse (N): what's wrong?
Me (M): I have a pain, here, on the left side of my abs
N: can you describe it to me?
M: it's sharp and shooting, it comes and goes. when it comes I sometimes have to crouch down, and I get very nauseous and dizzy. it's like a cramp, but sharper. when it's not as bad, like now, it's still sore and really hurts to touch but it's not as bad.
N: how long have you had this pain?
M: a few days, since the weekend?
N: when on the weekend?
M: well, I felt unwell Thursday, and it started coming on Friday. By Saturday it was really bad.
N: did you go to the hospital then?
M: No
N: (rolls eyes) a chemist?
M: No
N: (rolls eyes) GP?
M: No, my husband's been out all day and night and I didn't want to drive dizzy (plus I dont like the doctor and never want to go, but I didn't say this bit)
N: so, a week later you're in emergency (rolls eyes). What pain killers are you taking?
M: none
N: (rolls eyes) so it's not actually hurting?
M: it's hurting, I just don't take pain killers, I sleep (I don't take them ever, even after the car accident when the vertebrae in my neck were dislocated I didn't take them. Pain makes me fall asleep and pain killers never seem to make a difference, and I'm too scared I'll take too many after one experience years ago taking way too many tablets because I couldn't feel the one before working)
N: I see (rolls eyes). Are you pregnant?
M: (mind flashes back to recent post - omg, I'm pregnant! I knew I should have peed on a stick!) no, I don't think so
N: you're not or you don't think so?
M: I don't think so
N: Do. You. Have. Sex.
M: yes...
N: (rolls eyes) so - maybe.
M: ok, maybe (getting frustrated now)
N: mutters under her breath, something that sounds suspiciously like 'dumbass'
N: sit on the green chairs, a doctor will see you eventually. it's busy.
M: (looks at the waiting room. completely empty except for me. No doubt it's busy inside but can't someone just come and tell me I can go home and see my GP tomorrow?)

Several hours later, after sleeping on terrible plastic green chairs not being seen, we just leave.

Now, I know that nurses do a fabulous job, and I've been to emergency when it was an emergency (like after the car accident), and I know that I am fine and would have been fine just seeing a GP. But the eye rolling! And it DID hurt - it DOES hurt - it's hurt so much I've vomited and been crouched on the floor, damnit. And last time I had this pain in this place the doctor thought it was an ectopic pregnancy (it wasn't, thank God) but thats not something you play around with.

I know she was probably working a ridiculously long shift on ridiculously low pay and had better things to do with her time. But still, I felt terrible, and sore, and I didn't want to be there either. So that was my unpleasant night.

Sorry to grumble so much - I just really think she could have just said "look, I don't think anything's going to happen tonight - go home, see your GP tomorrow." That's not so hard is it?

Anyway, after all that I feel much better today. Still sore, but no crazy nausea except when I just woke up.

But I'm a bit nervous, doing some back-counting maths. Should I pee on a stick? I mean, crazy pain isn't usually a sign of pregnancy is it?

The Confession: I Weigh Almost 200 Pounds

2008-05-07T13:20:00.002+10:00

This is the second post I've written today. But seriously, this is my 7th day in a row stuck at home (except for Saturday, I did get out then).

I'm watching Oprah, and a family just weighed in, in pounds. Lots of pounds. It's a show on decluttering a house and the connection with losing weight. Something I should do - declutter. I do tend to eat better and move more when I have a 'happy environment'. I'm very easily overwhelmed when our little unit is a junkfest, and get the guilts about leaving it in a poor state to go outdoors. Of course, that doesn't go so far as to motivate me to keep it tidy all the time, I just feel bad, curl up in the arm chair and sometimes eat icecream.

Anyway, to move towards my point, I went and checked out how much I weigh in pounds. Oh my goodness. 193.6 pounds.

ALMOST 200 POUNDS

Now, I know there are people who are summing up their weightloss journeys at just under 200 pounds, and people have lost half their weight to get to the sort of weight I am. But that's not me. This is not a weight I've come down to, it's a weight I've gone up to. And it looks a lot scarier in triple-digits. Like a dark scary evil character from a hideous movie. Ugh.

And I'm not going down a path of self-hate, I'm just waking up - but it's like I'm not waking up from a nightmare, I'm waking into a nightmare.

And I want it reversed. I've been thinking most of the day that I want it reversed.

So why did I eat icecream for lunch? Seriously - this is what I've eated today.

Breakfast: a mandarin, a banana, a small tub of yoghurt. Over about 90 minutes.

Lunch: 4 spoons of icecream eaten out of a rice bowl, with lots of choc-mint ice magic on top.

Mmm.. gotta love that unbalanced calorie-fest.

No kidding. No wonder I'm overweight. I'm still just eating because I'm so bored and sick of being at home and deprived of human company. The lowest part of being sick - seriously, yesterday I was waking as D left, and saw him for about 25 minutes yesterday before falling asleep again. Today will probably be the same. So what do I do while I'm awake? Eat! Auugghhh.

*Frustration*

I don't like being sick right now, I don't like having two chins, I don't like running out of breath, I don't like not wanting to shop for clothes, I don't like stressing about going out socially with people, I don't like my flappy pudding arms, I don't like my resolutions to start tomorrow start tomorrow start tomorrow, I don't like that even my eyelids are fat.

I feel more than double the weight I want to be, but if I lose half my weight I'll be 44kg, and that's ridiculous. Sometimes I feel like the very obese people whose blogs I read, who have that much weight to lose, have it easier - they can get results easiler, and they can make great claims like losing half their weight. Now I know that it's never that easy to lose weight - but seriously, the start of the journey seems to be easier, because once you're that overweight, cutting portion sizes and half hour walks will make a big difference. And it gets hard as you go on, but I feeling like I want to whine. And I want to lose half my weight. I'll never be able to make that claim, and I feel like I'll never lose enough for it to be significant.

I am a wallower.

And I think I should give away our TV. Too much of anything is not good for the soul.

x

Ce-le-brate Good Times, C'mon!

2008-05-07T10:02:00.007+10:00

Congratulations to everyone!

In the last 24 hours I've found out:

2 very good friends of mine are engaged! (at last, hehe!)
my cousin and his wife are having a baby! (a wonderful surprise for us and them - they only got married in December!)
my friend from work is engaged!

Ok, it's not everyone, but that's a lot of good news! I also have so many friends getting married, well, about 5 couples, and another good school friend who's booked (with her bf) where she wants to get married (but no ring yet - still, that's gotta count as an engagement, non?)

It's all a bit exciting for little ol' me! I feel like I should be announcing a pregnancy to keep up! I'm half considering meandering down to a chemist, buying a little stick and peeing on it, just to double check I'm not next for exciting announcements.

In other news I'm still at home and still a bit sore. This makes it a week. So I'm going to get The Pain checked out tonight. My poor belly. It's spread right across my abs which is unpleasant. It's also made me very not hungry. Yesterday I ate almost 3 scoops of ice-cream: to make up my calories! I'm aiming at 1550 calories a day, thanks to calorieking's assessment of what I should eat to lose weight, and I wasn't even close yesterday. Thank goodness for icecream!! I knew it was good for me :)

Ok ok, I didn't actually need to eat the icecream, but I figured it's not often that it fits into my day, I was going to make the most of it.

..........

In other news, D's gotten to the point where he's thinking of leaving his job to go work in retail for the rest of the year then go back to uni next year. I really just want him to be happy, and would totally support him in whatever he does, but I can't help thinking he's just a teeny bit over qualified to work in a CD store - he has a degree and almost 2 years in a huge international company behind him - I don't know how to encourage him to try a new office before throwing in the whole industry, but at the same time, if he really thinks he'd love it then I think he should.

I just can't help thinking that he'd love to run a TKD studio more than anything, so that's what we should try and work towards. I don't know. Sigh.

Ok, inspired by Elisha, here's some photos from my camera :) They're not as recent, but photos are for sharing :)

D & a friend at a fancy hat tea party

My lovely law-school friends (plus 2 of our boys!)

Two girls from school I used to sharehouse with, celebrating at D's birthday picnic. Love them!

On our honeymoon, we had to have the tourist shot!

Oh what a feeling!
This is maybe my fave photo I've ever taken! And it's a film camera, not digital!
(It's D, on our honeymoon)

Aaah, memory lane :)

xx

ps: I went and picked up my prize yesterday. I was so excited! I've given D the chocolate and other edible parts, and am looking forward to my new make up and crabtree & evelynn products. But the best part is definitely the ceramic hair curler. But it's not working on my hair?? Oh well, it's currently working like a straightener, I can be happy with that :)

So Far So Good

2008-05-06T11:05:00.002+10:00

Hi! I just got home from my jog/run/c25k w1d2 - another half an hour out with 60 second runs alternated with 90 second walks. It was quite easy - although I started with singlet, t-shirt and hoody, and ended up with the hoody around my waist. Which involved half running, half walking, while combating D's oversized hoodie to pull out my arms and then wrap it messily around my waist, trying to look semi-chic. Hehe, I didn't get the chic bit, but it did end up around my waist :)

There's one part of the track I run where I'm running next to the river, with some really nice houses on my right side, river on the left, and beautiful big trees giving shade as I go. It's only a small part (after all this is Inner City Sydney!) but those few minutes are really nice to run through.

My other favourite part of today's track was when I was running back through part of the end of the run, and slowed to the last 5 minutes walk, I go through a golf course. And one of the guys, a short happy looking man, was like "keep running! you can keep going!" in a very encouraging way. So I ran up over a bridge and back into the park, for some of my cool down time. Granted, as soon as I was out of his sight I pretty much walked again, but I felt like he had faith in me! You've got to find encouragement where it comes :)

Then walking home from where I finished (as I can't do 5k in 30 minutes yet!) I listenned to the first few songs from Colbie Collait's album Coco - very nice walking music (not enough angst to run to, actually no angst at all, but it's good to cool down walk to).

I'm quite pleased with the run/walk and I'm looking forward to the third one.

...

On the food side, well, I haven't been hungry since I've had this Pain (which is a bit better today) but I've been trying to eat. Yesterday I managed breakfast, no lunch, then ordered in thai for dinner for me and D - I ate some which is good. Today I've managed 2 glasses of OJ (one before running, one after), and I picked at some of the prawn crackers left over from yesterday, thankfully there weren't that many left! And I've got a big bottle of cold water sitting here with me, staring me down, so I'll drink that, in fact I might have a glass now!

Meanwhile, I don't think it's good to stay at home as much as I have been. Especially in our little 1 bedroom unit that's 7 big steps wide and 11 big steps long (ish) - total. Yikes! This morning I didn't even want to get out of bed and face the day at home - I'm home from work still feeling dizzy and sore - but I love D, he just came and ate his special K in bed while I lay there whinging about the day ahead, and he stroked my head. On a tangent, this is the one thing I love about being sick - when I was little and I was sick my mum used to cuddle me and stroke my hot head with her cool hand. The first time I was sick when we were married I was like a little kid again "is my head hot? is it hot? feel it, I know it's hot" and D was all "I don't need to feel it - I can see you're sick!" so I had to take him back down memory lane with me, and now when I'm sick he'll give me a cuddle and feel my hot head with his cool hand.

Anyway, today I'm determined to get out of this unit! Operation Part One: Drive Dave to Station was a success. Operation Part Two: Do c25k run was another success! Operation Part Three: Drive to Domayne and Collect Prize* is about to be started. Ideally without me falling asleep again. I don't know if anyone else gets this, but when I get sick, all I want to do is sleep. But enough is enough - I'm reclaiming my days.

xx

*I won a prize! I never win prizes! From a magazine too (check out SW Magazine via google) - and it comes with a hair curler ceramic thing too!

Not So Good at Mondays

2008-05-05T08:41:00.005+10:00

Lately I've been very blah. I haven't actually done anything productive since about Wednesday last week, when I was at work. Thursday I slept in and watched TV because I felt I needed the break - I even made plans to meet up with a friend at uni to study but then stood him up. Which is pretty bad. Then Friday I started feeling sick so had a very very lazy day.

On Saturday I went for my morning run to meet my friend which was actually quite good and I did it in 30 minutes rather than the 45 I was expecting (although 4km is really not very far - 45 mins would be a slow walking pace!) but when we got home I felt really sick. I've been getting dizzy and nauseous lately, and I have A Pain under my left hip that comes and goes. When it comes it just makes me feel awful. So I was feeling pretty ordinary - but by the time we got to our meeting at 2pm I was really feeling bad. I was dizzy and couldn't read or concentrate - I ended up falling asleep. Luckily I made it to the break then asked the guys wife if I could lie down. She took my upstairs to their room, which was hard when the world was spinning, and I lay down and crashed out. D came and woke me about about 2.5 hours later to go home, and I slept in the car on the way home.

Then I felt better and we went to a 21st which was fun, and I was ravenous - I just wanted to eat! So I ate some food, but not too much, and talked to people and did the party thing. I even danced very briefly. Then we came home and I crashed, I very nearly fell asleep in my clothes (after a nap on the way home in the car) but at least managed to brush my teeth!

Sunday D left without waking me and I slept in until about 11am, and then went to go get something to eat. By the time I got to the kitchen the Pain was so sharp I doubled over and almost fell down. It really really really hurt. I almost called D to come home and thought about calling 000 incase it was appendicitis. But I got to the couch and it felt a bit better. Anyway, I spent all Sunday reading blogs - especially the archives of Dietgirl, but had to take breaks because I was getting all dizzy again.

I didn't do hardly any thesis work.

Today I feel a bit better, but I haven't gone in to uni. I just don't want to - I feel 'toxic' and unwell, and very fluey in an achey way, but not a clogged up way. Maybe I'm just allergic to hard work?

But then, part of me thinks "I'm an Honours Law Student with a Big Firm job! I'm not Just Lazy, damnit, I've worked hard to get here!" but at the same time I just feel so sick and dizzy. Sigh.

And yesterday D got upset, because he's been amazing trying to give me space to write my thesis and get it done, including cooking, grocery shopping, bringing home lunch, etc, and I hadn't done anything. After that I took the laptop to bed and didn't a little bit of work there, but today is really going to have to be Hard Work Day.

I'm thinking to celebrate I might go for a run. Then try and rustle up a friend to work with. All this time on my own is not good for my head.

....

In other more weight-related news, I've joined up to CalorieKing, and I'm tracking my food and exercise there. It's a lot like ww points, but using calories instead. It even has space for an in-house blog and forums etc. Has anyone who reads this ever used it? I'd be keen to hear some feedback.

I'm using the scales at home to weigh myself, with Saturday Morning being my WI day - this week it was 88kg - yikes! Heavier than when I started ww! But this morning it was already 87.1 - so I think I was still full from the night before. Anyway, my first mini-goal is to get to 85kg so here goes! It also gives me a neat 30kg to lose. Jeeeee that's daunting. But after reading all these posts of people who are now half their size (!!) I feel like I can give it a good go and lose the weight.

Ok, Study Time!! Call a Friend Time!! and Run Time!! - in reverse order.

xx

My Outdoor Gym

2008-05-03T08:49:00.003+10:00

So, exercise is integral to weightloss. Exercise is very integral to my weight loss - especially morning exercise. Then I have that goofy glow all morning of I Did Something For Me and when faced with scrumptious calorie packed temptations, I can Smile And Say No Thankyou much more easily. Even if it's Evening Exercise, I am more likely to be better during the day, knowing that I don't want to waste that exercise session just on the junk I ate today.

So, I'm going to amp up my exercise. By amp up, I mean restart. "Start at the very beginning, a very good place to start. When we read we begin with A-B-C, when we jog we begin with walk-plod-walk. walk-plod-walk". Mmmm.

I've noticed on lots of people's posts & blogs, including DietGirl's - as I read my way through the archives identifying the whole way - that gym routines play a big roll in most people's weightloss. But here's the thing, I don't go to a gym. I have big plans of going to a Shiny City Gym next year when I'm working FT in the heart of the city, but in the meantime, it doesn't fit the budget. And there's no where in Sydney I'm at 3 days a week, so it would involve extra travel, which would suck. So, I am going to create my very own My Outdoor Gym.

My Outdoor Gym has no membership fees. But, if you feel you need to pay money to stay dedicated, you can pay it into a container in your room, then as you lose the weight you also make savings to spend on luxurious treats as you reach your weightloss and fitness goals (or sexy new workout gear, seeing as mine is trakkies I bought in Big W and old t-shirts!)

My Outdoor Gym has a wide range of cardiovascular machines. Your Legs are a favourite with many participants, walking and running, or combinations thereof are known to be very successful in weightloss and improved fitness. Other options include skipping, beach swimming, backwards walking (not for the coordinately impaired), swinging, monkey bars, soccer, football, frisbee, dogwalking, and games with friends.

My Outdoor Gym also has a wide range of weights based activities. Pushups, Squats, Lunges, That Thing They Do On Biggest Loser Where They Lie Down On Their Stomach Then Jump Up Then Repeat, Carrying Soup Cans, and Pushing On Things.

Naturally, Stretching and Toning Exercises are also included.

My Outdoor Gym not only caters for your health through exercise, but also allows a good dosing of Vitamin D as you enjoy the sunlight, although exercise between the hours of 11am and 2pm are not recommended in the Australian Sun.

My Outdoor Gym can be conducted anywhere outdoors, and most activities can be accomplished even when Indoors.

Today's Activities at My Outdoor Gym include a 'run' to The Meeting Place to meet a friend. We're both running from our own homes - mine's about 4km away - and then meeting up for a drink, then going back home. It's part of our We Want To Run But Don't Want Anyone To See Us Running Yet program! I'm allowing 45 minutes, expecting to do a lot of walking in that time!

After that we have another India Meeting this afternoon, and a 21st tonight - as well as invitations to a dinner party and to a night of Bowling in the City and French Riviera Icecream (the MOST AMAZING ICECREAM EVER), but I'm hoping we're only going to do the 21st and bail on the rest to allow for some more study time.

I'm Not Giving Up!

Not Giving Up.

2008-05-02T15:09:00.002+10:00

ok, so I just said I was going to be AWOL for a while, and I've been so down about not losing the weight on ww - not bc of ww, but bc I haven't been actually following the program. But, after reading through Jo's blog and Elisha's blog and having a good read through DietGirl from the beginning of her journey, it hit me again - it works. Eating better food and moving more works. You just have to do it. And not give up.

So I'm going to keep at it. I've been a real slug lately - staying indoors watching tv or making half-arsed attempts at studying, and I've been eating a lot, and not well. For example, today I've had banana on bread, watermelon, followed by prawns, followed by chocolate, followed by wine. Delicious, but not exactly a healthy way to eat through the day. So I'm going to make a better effort than than. It worked when I was signed up to ww and following, so it'd better work now.

And I'm going to keep weighing. And I'm going to keep putting up my weight, and staying honest.

Which I guess means starting now - having been MIA for a while, beware, but I'll jump on now and let you know in a sec.... going to scales... standing on scales... reeling in shock!.... 87.6kg.

My new starting weight. Round it up to 88kg and I have a tidy 30kg to lose to get to my personal goal. That's humungous. But, I won't be the first person to do it.

In other news, I got my exam timetable - 10 June & 12 June are the scary exam days. Not to mention the thesis is due on 23 May and there's 2 assessments due before then.

Bring it.

Friday - hooray!

2008-05-02T08:39:00.002+10:00

Ooh, it's good that it's Friday now!

My latest wish-list item is a ghd hair straightener, that would be so great!

that's all :)

MIA

2008-05-01T12:09:00.002+10:00

I haven't blogged in a while. I wrote a post all about how I felt, but I haven't published it - I think it might be a bit too raw. But it was good to write.

I've been working and studying in the last little while - it's now 1 May and the thesis is due on 23rd!! I've also been working and seeing lots of friends, which is nice.

I pulled out of ww, I just wasn't sticking at it and I need to wait until I have the headspace to. Not that I'm going to stop watching what I eat and do - I just know I'm not following the program and I don't want to pay knowing I'm not committed to it. I know that's slack, but it's where I am right now. And we're going to India in July so money's kind of tight.

Anyway, I'll keep coming back and posting, after I get through the thesis!

xx

Wednesday was a weird day

2008-04-23T18:15:00.002+10:00

So today I worked and had lunch with friends (a japanese curry, very yum) but was really tired and ate maltesers at the 3pm chocolate o'clock. D's at a job interview to work for a new company, which is quite exciting. We're going out with friends to a pub where you can bbq your meal at the pub - it's trendy, so we hear ;) we're going with d's engineering friend and his wife (are you surprised - 2 engineers figured dinner would be great at a bbq in a pub!).

I hope D gets this job - I'd love us to both work at places we love.

Today is Tuesday (H: 86.3)

2008-04-22T20:02:00.002+10:00

Weight Change from Yesterday = +/- 0.0
Weight Change from WI = -0.9
Exercise Today = general walking around, lots of walking at work
Water Today (8+) = not nearly
Food Today (Core) = toast, chicken pesto sandwich, some lollies, vegemite bread, sprite, chocolate mousse... hmm

Yesterday I slept most of the day - I woke up, blogged, watched some tv, then slept til 5.30. I slept on Dave's side of the bed breathing in his scent in his pillow, and when I woke up, I could still smell him on my skin. I felt so happy.

Last night we went for dinner with our newlywed friends, and had so much fun. We played 'banana scrabble' - which is scrabble where it's each person for themself. I won 2 and Catie won 2. We laughed a lot and drank good wine. I left some food on my plate. I felt giggly and fun.

Today I worked. I moved to a new part of work and I loved it. I did some research, walked to counsel chambers with some documents, collated some evidence. I felt productive and valued.

Tonight I'm updating this blog while waiting for Dave to come home from Taekwondo. I'm looking forward to some dinner together and catching up about our days. I feel loved.

Tomorrow is a new day, with new surprises and new celebrations. I'm looking forward to it.

xx

Motivational Monday! (H: 86.3)

2008-04-21T08:22:00.012+10:00

LESS THAN 36 WEEKS TO CHRISTMAS!
(To get to goal at Christmas, I have to lose... 14.3kg)

Stars Yesterday = None, but I did ok I think!
Weight Change from Yesterday = +0.1
Weight Change from WI = -0.9
Exercise Today = [it's raining! I'd like to do c25k anyway though!]
Water Today (8+) =
Food Today (Core) =

A quick review. Saturday was Therese's wedding - lovely but LOTS of food (a 5 course dinner, anyone?) but also lots of dancing, and even doing the twist! and walking in the morning. Sunday was church, a bit of an argument at home with Dave, which lead to some icecream eating, but I stopped after one scoop at least! Making up with Dave pretty quickly, a nap, and dinner with Dave's family at vietnamese restaurant for his birthday. Lots of food!!!

Therese's wedding was amazing! It was really lovely - and very dramatic! She looked amazing, Cameron couldn't take his eyes off her all day! It was great to catch up with "the girls" who I went to school with, heard some very exciting news from Pun (but I'm sworn to secrecy damnit! lol, hopefully I can announce it soon!). The church service was lovely, a good talk, Cameron's grandfather prayed for them, which made me cry and miss my Grandpop. We had cofffee at Bar Italia after the wedding, and I had a skim hot chocolate (I know, not core, but their hot chocolates are so good!) and then dinner with 5 (yes FIVE) official courses!! We had:

-cheeses,

-salmon salad/chicken asparagus pie,

-followed by baby clam fettucine/mushroom risotto,

-followed by fish/veal, followed by cake with gelato,

-followed by a fruit platter,

-followed by tea and amazing Italian coffee!

That's a lot of food! Oh but it was fun! And Dave and I were getting on so well, and we danced all night!! That's gotta be worth something! It was lots of fun!

Some photos: (I know I'm tall, but I have to stop slumping in photos!)

It was very dramatic - with smoke as they walked into the function centre and lots of WOW moments!

Although, I did get he pregnant question - ouch. In fact it wasn't actually a question - the mother of the bride (who I've known since I was in school, at least since year 7 if not primary) came up to thank me for some pre-wedding help I'd done and say hello, then, placing her hand on my stomache she said "well, I see you won't be able to drink, but there will be some lovely food" - ouch! But she looked so pleased and happy with this "news" that I just said "thanks" (it was her daughter's wedding day, I didn't want to make her feel embarrassed!) then told my school friends and ensured I had a glass of wine in my hand all night! Oh dear. So, no more baby-doll type dresses until I reach goal!

And I noticed I always slump in how I stand, especially in photos. Aiiii.

But I had a good night, and a nice Sunday too.

Sunday I really tried to get back on track - I left the morning tea alone at church (I'm getting quite good at that now!) had a healthy breakfast and lunch, and when we went out for dinner for Dave's birthday with his parents and cousins, I made one bowl of rice last the whole night!! Which is pretty good I think. And a really good time catching up with his parents and cousins, which is good. It's nice that we all get on as a family now.

Anyway, today is a study & housework day - but the weather is clearing up so I might try and hit up a run too!

Sunny Sunday (H: 86.2)

2008-04-20T08:38:00.002+10:00

Didn't get to post at all on Sunday! I was going to and then Dave was upset that I spend more time blogging than with him. So we had a good day together (I'm glad he pointed it out, blogging can be addictive!) - so I'll fill you in on Monday's post!

2008-04-19T07:58:00.004+10:00

Stars Yesterday = Two (yay!)

Weight Change from Yesterday = -0.8

Weight Change from WI = -1.2

Exercise Today = walked 4km with Heath, and danced with Dave all night at the wedding

Water Today (8+) = at least 8

Food Today (Core + up to 3 of 15 pts) = Core + a wedding :S

B = Special K with Skim Milk and Banana, and skim chai (teabag style)
S = Watermelon, crackers, pesto dip
L = no lunch (I know, bad) - I was asleep!
S = Skim Hot Chocolate at Bar Italia (yum!)
D = Wedding Reception! 1 cocktail, 3 wines, entree of asparagus chicken pie/salmon salad, first main of mushroom risotta & baby clam fettuccine, second main of seafood and veal, first dessert of wedding cake with gelato, second dessert of fruit platter, italian coffee. (BUT I didn't eat all of any of the foods! and I drank water!)

Weight Update

Well it's going down! That's good! It's already 1.2 less than on Thursday. How quickly it's gone down makes me pretty sure it was retained water from all the salts I was eating, and bloatedness. As long as it keeps going down! I was a bit surprised because that's a big drop from yesterday, but I ate 3 good meals, 2 snacks, even the tim tam, so I'm just going to take it and be thankful :)

Yesterday in Review

Yesterday was really good, I did:

jog with D - tidy house - cook healthy lunch - watch some tv - tidy - meet parents & F&R for coffee - shop - cook - India dinner at our place - go to parents to pick up umbrella - take umbrella to Therese's - back to parents to collect forgotten phone - visit Heath - crash out and sleep.

I enjoyed doing some exercise, had a cheery day. We had an amazing dinner for the India trip, it was great catching up with everyone. And I was so good! I set it up as self-serve, so I could only serve myself a little bit, for dessert we had fresh watermelon, rockmelon, strawberries and ice-cream, and I skipped on the icecream, and because I was fixing up in the kitchen I mostly avoided the cheese plate before dinner!

Oh, and I especially went out and bought 3 limes (even though they're hideously expensive, and we're used to getting them for free from D's parents) - so we could have a bit jug with iced water and limes, and I drank lots of water. I didn't even have any wine or soft drinks. Yay!! I did, sadly, cave and have a tim tam, then a bit of brie with D after everyone left, we'd gone to Therese's with the umbrellas, then Heath's to get a camera (where I fell asleep, lol, it was so late, but the boys wanted to play some new playstation game Heath had), but I've counted the points and I'm on track.

It's amazing, just turning down icecream (at 4.5 points/scoop) makes a big difference to the points I'd have eaten otherwise!

Oh! And my other little accomplishment - my mum rang me in the afternoon, saying she was at the doctors with my sister & brother in law, and now they were finished so did I want to come for coffee. So I was like, doctors? Ohmygoodnessshemustbepregnant! So off I went very excited and got more excited as I saw both my mum and dad were there, as well as F&R. Lol, so I was a bit disappointed when I found out F had just had her cervical cancer vaccine injection (which you should definitely get if you're eligible and in Australia - our government is giving it to us) and mum had just had a check up. Sigh... so no aunty news just yet (but at least it wasn't bad news either). They'd just thought it'd be nice to catch up. Which it really was.

We went to Cafe Envy in Summer Hill - if you're an inner westie definitely I recommend it, their food and coffee is amazing! And even though they had iced coffees and chais and all sorts of amazing foods, I ordered a tea with skim milk and really liked it (and it's core! yay!). Love it.

Challenges Today

Today my good friend Therese gets married! I'm so excited for her! I saw her late last night and she looked so excited! I wish I could have stayed and chatted all night with her but she was with her family so I just dropped off the umbrellas (we have big white golf umbrellas from our wedding, and Sydney is raining, but today is actually sunny!) gave her a big hug and still have goosebumps looking forward to the wedding!

But weddings do mean foodie challenges. Most notably drinking, reception meal (especially as she's going to an amazing Leichardt Italian place!) and the pre-wedding-catch-up-lunch with school friends! But, thinking about it, I'm quite happy drinking just water - I had wine at C's wedding 2 weeks ago which was delicious, so I might try this reception on water (lol I give the pregnancy questions 5 minutes if I stick to water! But we'll see), and I'm going to try and stick to the food that's 'most' core, and NOT eat everything on my plate - even if I only leave a little bit, I'm trying to cultivate a habit of leaving some so I can be comfortable stopping when I'm full.

So, How Much Have You Lost on WW?

This is the question my dad asked me late last night when we dropped in after dinner to pick up their spare big white umbrella to take to Therese's.

It made it hit home that I've been doing this for 10 weeks and weigh the same (geeeeze....) - so I just said that I'd lost some and put some back on and lost some etc, but the final result was confidential. At least he said I was looking slimmer and he'd like to come along with me. Which I was very surprised at! I know I'm a tiny bit more toned, just from doing some exercise, but not anything too noticeable, but he said he was impressed I'd stuck at it and he'd like to come. So that would actually be pretty good, to have that accountability with my dad, we'll see :D

To Taekwondo or Not To Taekwondo?

D does lots of TKD - in fact he's usually there 2-3 times per week, and he teaches (he used to officially compete at very high levels) and he's very good (4 grades above a black belt). Today he invited me to come along and train with him. Sometimes I go, but I usually study in the office while he trains - I've trained once but it's so hard!! I turned him down today, but now I 'm thinking about it. Maybe I should pick it up? I'm trying to decide if I should pick it up while unfit and struggle through, or get fit first then pick it up (because everyone knows me through him and it could be very embarrassing). Thoughts?

Finally, Shopping is Expensive!

In other news, I was blown away by the price of shopping yesterday, and I went to FRANKLINS! Albeit Summer Hill Franklins, which is a trendy area, and I shopped for a dinner for me & 7 men (and even after they had seconds and some thirds, they'd only got through less than half) but it cost me over $100. I was blown away.

I wanted to have a nice dinner so I just did want lots of my yuppie friends do (lol), I got some brie, some fruit cheese, 2 types of crackers, and I bought some nice vegies (like snow peas and capsicum, nothing outrageous), some watermelon and rockmelon, chicken (which was a killer), ice cream, feta, spinach leaves, baby corn, pine nuts etc (for a pumpkin salad), and some packet mix for mint slice cake which I didn't make up, oh, and about 4 packs of thai noodles, and none of it was more than $5, but gee it added up quickly. It was a nice dinner, but (and I know I'm not yuppie but) I'd have been as happy with pasta and a green salad, no cheeses etc... I think our next guests are getting bolognaise!

Long Posts

My posts are getting really long... sorry... I'll try and do some shorter ones that might then get read :)

Hi Ho, Hi Ho, It's under 85 I Go! (H: 86.8... -0.4)

2008-04-18T08:16:00.012+10:00

Stars Yesterday = none
Weight Change from Yesterday = -0.4
Weight Change from WI = -0.4
Exercise Today = 25 minute walk/jog this morning
Water Today (8+) = Cups = 8 :D
Food Today (Core + ideally up to 3 of 21pts) = Core + 6 points

(B= water, butter-vegemite sandwich + banana)
(S = Indian Chai teabag with skim and 1 tsp sugar - it said make it sweet, but ew, I don't like sugar in hot drinks any more! weird. Interestingly e-tools said 0 points for 1 tsp raw sugar?? I've counted half though)
(L = Tuna Pasta - a tomato, carrot, 2 mushrooms, tomato in a jar, and tuna stirred through pasta with some low fat cottage cheese, easy, hot, filling, all core and delicious!)

(S = Hot tea with skim milk)

(D = curry (counting the coconut milk and curry), fresh salad, some brie, lots of water, fresh fruit, Core + 3 points)

(S = Tim Tam (damnit) - 2 points)

I'm back on track and totally focussed. Now, given, I'm usually on track at 8.30am, but I'm serious about it this time!

D was great this morning - after I asked him last night, he woke me up at 6.30 for a jog today. Ok, well, he started trying to wake me at 6.20, and I didn't get up until almost 6.40, but he didn't give up (I love him!) and off we went together, and did a jog. I went back a week in c25k - I wanted to start again at week 1 but he didn't have the podcast for it on his ipod and it's better when we are listening to the same thing and same run/walk cues. Because I was so sleepy (we didn't leave the house until 10 to 7, when we were meant to be back at 7!!) we had to cut it short by 5 minutes, which means we did 5 runs rather than 6, at 90 seconds each, but hey, we were out there and we were running! I like doing my river track run - I recognise the other runners now and we smile and pant out a 'hi' as we run or walk past each other.

I'm also keen to eat really really well this week - I've decided to follow Shazzy's lead and try out core for a week, see how that goes. I really want to be on track!!

Yesterday's Weigh In
Yesterday's WI was a terrible experience. I was going to use my 'no-weigh' pass knowing how awful the past few days had been, but then I thought, 'no, I'm going to be honest at least' and after whispering to my lead "I'll stand on the scales, but please just don't say a word" I closed my eyes and stood on the scales. And my wonderful leader (who usually is very vocal in offering congratulations or encouragements) was wonderful, she didn't say anything, just wrote down the number. Then, with a smile, she said "congratulations on sticking to this for 10 weeks, keep going. well done". I could have hugged her.

But, cold hard truth, I put on 2kg. 2kg! Ouch. that wipes out all my loss from the last 10 weeks. It seems every week I have a good week, a then have a bad one afterwards. Shocking. I wore my jumper and jewellery on the scales (cause really, how much worse could it make it) but I was still shocked. I stayed for the meeting but don't know how much I heard - I was just feeling awful.

I messaged D cause I always message him after a WI, with the result. Feeling very down I messaged him "I am a weight watchers failure". But he messaged back:

"Honey, i know you're been working hard & also stressed with uni & work. Keep persevering! I know you can do it! D Xoxo"

I nearly cried, I've just been so exhausted and working so hard, and was so tired and felt so flat, and I just loved him for writing that.

I had a chat with him last night, and asked him to help me with exercise for a little while. And he has said he will (hence this morning's jog), and I really appreciate it. I know what I have to do, but I appreciate so much his help in in doing it alongside me.

No Excuses Day
So, today is my new day and no excuses will be accepted! We have people coming over for dinner so I'm going to make a ww receipe and we can have some fresh fruit for dessert - I'm thinking some watermelon and rockmelon cut up. There's no need to give them unhealthy food when I don't want to eat it either. I've done my exercise for today, and I'm going to eat core food.

2008 The New Me
Ok, well it's now April and I know you're meant to make these resolutions in January, but I'm thinking of how I want to be and look, and I'm going to make some changes! I was thinking yesterday how unattractive I feel, especially with this weight, and how cyclic it is - feeling unattractive because I'm overweight. Figuring I might as well eat because I'm overweight. Well enough is enough. So - here's some changes (I'll put these on the RHS margin as well)...

* Eat well. Either a Core week or a Points week. And stick to what I'm doing that week.
* 30 minutes exercise every day.
* Update on food, water and exercise on my blog, start of the post.
* Paint my toenails a nice colour
* Have nice hair - use nice shampoo and conditioner that smells nice. Spend some time making it look good.
* Keep hair free - just because I'm going to wear long pants doesn't meant I should have prickly legs.
* Nicely shape my eyebrows
* Wear high heels - at least to work, no more flats and fewer thongs
* Keep clothes looking nice
* Reduce TV time to 1hr or less a day or just sitting and watching
* Use a receipe book to make dinner at least 1 meal a week, instead of just imagining as I go.

Mmm, that will do for now :) I'm off to find a core-friendly breakfast.

Cya!

xx

Excuse_Maker_Confession

2008-04-17T09:00:00.003+10:00

The difference between the old me and the new me is my ability to overcome excuses.

So it's unusual to make two posts in a day, but I have to confess. I was thinking about this last night, and today, and again when I read that post. I'm such an excuse maker.

My name is Kathryn, and I make excuses.

Seriously - look at that last post. Sure I had a busy weekend, sure I had lots of work to do, sure I had a birthday celebration, sure I was tired. But I still ate crap and didn't exercise. And really, I could and should have done much better. At least walking and eating better.

So, I'm starting a new part of my blog - a list of the times and things I have used as excuses. With the hope that I stop making them!!!

I've been on ww for 10 weeks now, and keep going up and down. I really want this 82.5 GWEA, and I want to be healthy and have a healthy lifestyle. So, I'm going to stay on track. Yes.

Oh, and this week I've decided to do Core.

That's all.

xx

Note - Just after writing this I had a look at a few blogs that I like keeping up on and saw this amazing post on Shazzywomble's Blog and I have to say, wow. It's not rocket science, but it's so true. I'll quote it here:

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Some one asked me..

How often I fell off the Wagon.. You know what?? There is NO WAGON! It's simple if I can't allow for it in your allowance you just don't have it, you have the power to say no! You just have to. If someone offers me something I can't allow, I just don't have it. I don't ruin weeks of effort to be polite. There have been times I have been to peoples houses and desserts have been offered which I simply couldn't allow for, so you know what? I said no thank you! I often bring my own yoghurt so I can have that as others are having their dessert.

It's really basic! you follow the plan and it works.. you don't follow the plan and it (sorry to tell you) WON'T. Both WW plans work IF you stick to them! It's up to you!

Posted by ♥Shaz♥ at 11:01 AM

I'm back! (H: 86.8 - yikes!) (WI: 87.2, ouch ouch ouch)

2008-04-17T08:35:00.005+10:00

Wow, what a huge few days!!

CEP Practice File
After that flu last week, feeling sick, my assessment for CEP was due in on Monday, and it was massive! I'm doing college of law, and our assessments involve running a practice file - for this assessment we had to run a matter where our fake client buys a fake business. It's so much work! We had to write all the letters, emails, advices, file notes etc we'd do in real life, translate the mortgage into real english rather than 'legalese', do the contract, etc etc. So I had a huge weekend getting in finished! I was up until 3am doing the work, and then back at my desk (which is actually the loungeroom floor at the moment!) from 6.30am. That's a lot of study time! I made it through the start pretty ok-ish - using sugarfree V and going for a walk or two for study breaks - but by the end I was surviving on giant pythons, coffee, and so on! I actually had gone down by the end (as I didn't actually eat that much - when I get so tired I don't get hungry) but THEN after handing in the file at 6pm Monday night (and sleeping from 8pm Monday night), Tuesday was Dave's birthday!

Dave's Birthday
Well Tuesday was Dave's Birthday. So, being the wonderful wife that I am (naturally, lol) I got up early on Tuesday, in the 6ams - which is 10 hours after I went to bed but still felt ridiculously early - and made a hot breakfast of eggs, tomato, mushroom, crumpets, etc, and banana smoothies for breakfast. And he enjoyed it which is good! Then off to work (falling asleep on the train) where I gave in and enjoyed 2 hot chocolates, coffee, and by lunch was so tired that I bought a pasta to sustain me (it was small size, which is better than old habits, but it was creamy, and I have no idea how many points!), and more hot chocolate in the afternoon. Then came home - where I was basically sleeping with my eyes open and went right past my stop by several stations! So had to change and come back to where I live, and D & I went out to AMAZING Thai at Doy Tau in Newtown and then a movie. We saw Vantage Point, which was better than I'd expected, although some people walked out - maybe they got bored watching the same 20 minutes over and over (you see a president get asassinated from a variety of viewpoints), then home. Wow, so tired!

Thai was great though - we had satay chicken sticks (D's fave) and BBQ Octopus (my fave) for entree, and shared rice with seafood stirfry for mains. Yum!

Then, of course, work again on Wednesday!!

Wednesday
Wednesday D and I went in early to hang out in the city - we had ricotta/plum danish (shared between us) and hot chocolate (skim at least), then another long day at work, where I had some more hot chocolate. I was better at lunch, eating my salad and cheese sandwich, phew, but then a friend had a chocolate drive so I bought some maltesers from him (the drive goes to his rugby team buying shorts! lol!) and shared them with everyone around me, and when it got to half empty (I'd probably eaten about 20 and shared about 25), I gave the rest of the box to the guy who sits next to me cause I didn't want to eat any more! But maybe I shouldn't have bought it in the first place!

Last night by the time I got home I had some cottage cheese and tomato on bread, and crashed out to sleep.

But I've had no movement and some pretty bad eating, so I think I'm going to use my no-weigh pass - but still go to my meeting. I had a big wrestle about whether or not to go, feeling like this week was SUCH a shocker (and I'm still so tired I just want to crash out at home) but I think I should go. Long term perspectives, right?

Well, that's the condensed version of my last few days!

Oh - but I have some good news! I work in a part of a law firm that codes documents that will be used in court cases - it's a humungous data entry job, we barcode, scan and code pages. My part is coding - which means I data entry the date, title, people in etc of a document. But yesterday I got a call and I'm going to work in Litigation, another part of the firm, which does all the work in courts, with a partner I really respect. Yay!! So I'm looking forward to that!

Ok, cya!

xx

Head Above Water (H: I have no idea)

2008-04-16T22:14:00.001+10:00

I haven't blogged in days - so much for my running updates! I've have a crazy few days. Am exhausted from keeping my head above water. Have eaten not lots of food, but what I've eaten has been "survival food" (lollies and milkshakes). Fill you in tomorrow - I'm getting some sleep.

xx

Weekend Danger Zone (H: 85.5)

2008-04-12T07:16:00.009+10:00

And so the weekend begins.... *scary music*

Ok ok I actually love my weekends, but I have to be honest, I ALWAYS gain weight over the weekend. I try not to, but I do! So this weekend I'm being super-conscious of what I eat and do and I'm determined to come out on Monday morning weighing less than I do today - ie: less than 85.5 on my home scales - even if I have to stand on one leg, lean out at 45 degrees and wave my arms madly to do it!

A snapshot of my weekend, and how I'm going to put my plan in action:

Friday: was meant to see a friend for movie & dinner, but piked due to late night Thursday night. Ended up just sleeping at home, so I'm not really going to count that lame excuse for a night out!

Saturday (today): Plans = meet friend for coffee at 10.30, finish practice file for assessment on Monday (high stress!), food shopping for empty house, & house party tonight.

Plan in Action: Have a skim chai or skim FW at coffee, NO banana bread! ... Eat diet jelly for sweet fix for studying, AVOID chocolates ... Write a list for shopping and stick to it. Buy a good study treat - like a rockmelon or a watermelon - and some sugarfree V cause I'll need it tonight... eat dinner before the party tonight and arrive lateish so there are people to chat to, buffering the way to wherever the food is! Drink lots of water, eat only 3 things and TRACK THEM - and only if it's in my points. Enjoy catching up with friends.
Go for a walk today! At least do the river walk, if not do a "Sydney Walk".

Sunday (tomorrow): Plans = Church in the morning (with 2 morning teas, remember!), lunch at D's parents place, study to finish the practice file. Dinner at home with D.

Plan in Action: Take breakfast in the car to eat on the way to church - it means I finish eating just before we start so there's not stomach grumbling when I see morning tea! And take a bottle of water in my bag to avoid the juice - maybe even take an apple to munch on while others eat cakes and slices... Eat a small amount at lunch, drink lots of water, hope it's healthy~ ... Go for a walk with D. Track what I eat. Enjoy the day :D

See, when it's put down in writing, it's not so bad. Just remember a jumper on those walks - the weather's getting chilly!

Sydney Walks Book
Yesterday I bought a book of different walks around Sydney. It was only a few dollars ($4 or $7 I forget which one) from Basement Books (in the devonshire street tunnel next to Central Station - best bookshop ever - if they have what you want) and it has all these routes of walks with little explanations you can do around Sydney. They's lots of suburbs walks, as well as the bridge walks, beach walks, cliff walks, etc - even 3 or 4 in my neighbourhood! So (I proudly informed D yesterday) D & I are going to do every single one of the walks! I'm looking forward to it actually - I've even got out a highlighter and pen to mark off the walks as I go! One a week would be ideal, but I'm happy with the start. Most are very short - about 2km, some are about 5km, they all look pretty gentle, and there's a paragraph or so on the the landmarks and features of each route. Good hey.

Ok, well it's 7.30am now so I'm about to morph into a nerd and hit the books. Wish me luck! This file is worth 40% of my course and I have hours of work to do on it.

xx

Points
7.10am Half a bowl of diet jelly [study cravings start early!] (0 > 0)

8.30am Toast (1) with Baked Beans (1.5) (2.5 > 2.5)

*****************************************************************************

Ok, I'm going to be honest. I've eaten a huge amount. I've had tastes of leftover vegies (0) from last night, and a piece of bread with jam and butter (2). And a rice bowl full of peanuts, (?) some mint baileys (?) and milk (1.5). I've eaten 2 biscuits (2) and just gotten home from maccas where I got an XL diet coke (0), small chips (4.5), and a McFeast burger (?? 9-10?). And I still want to eat - I feel like I can't study without junk food - and I'm studying, so I'm craving, big time. I feel like marshmallows, V, chocolate, and my all time fave study food, killer pythons.

*****************************************************************************
Okay - just got home again. I got home from maccas, wrote that post, and as I was writing my wonderful best friend showed up for our coffee date (which had been postponed since this morning) but instead we went for a walk - almost 5km! Now my pedometre's got over 11,000 steps on it, I feel refreshed and I just rang D and said to not worry about any of the junk food (just the sugarfree V!). I know I'll get a star for exercise today on my home star-chart, and I'm sure I can recover from the food I've eaten so far. So, I'm going to track it. But first, this calls for a picture of Hellena, my best friend :D So here's a picture of us from my wedding day.

Ok, now points, honestly. I can't remember all the times but I'll put down all the food.

Diet Jelly [0] = 0
Toast with Baked Beans [2.5] = 2.5
Bread with Margarine and Jam [2] = 4.5
Rice bowl full of peanuts [3 for 50 peanuts, I don't think I ate 50...] = 7.5
Baileys (2.5) and milk (1.5) [4] = 11.5
Two Arnotts "nice" sugar topped biscuits [2] = 13.5 (at this point it was still redeemable!)
Maccas XL diet coke [0] = 13.5
Maccas small chips [4] = 17.5
Maccas McFeast burger [12 - ouch!! no wonder I was full after half! Oh I should have not ordered it, or at least just thrown it away] = 29.5

Ouch, 29 and no dinner yet. Oh well, all I can do is get back on track from now! So here I go again, hauling myself back onto the metaphorical wagon.

At least I did the walk, all up we took about 2 hours. Which is worth 5 bonus points. Wow!! So the net damage is only 24 - that's only 3 over. Maybe I can even get D to come for a walk tonight and undo the damage, or at least fit in a bit of walking.

Anyway, with all this stressing over how much I've eaten and the walking and the maccas and everything I've still got hours of study to do! So, ciao for now!

xx

Food after 6pm:

2 cups water [0]

Diet coke [0] - finishing off the maccas diet coke

Marshmallows (hmmm)

Ravioli for dinner (not too much)

Food at the party:

Apple pie with cream - as small a slice as I could cut

Babaganoush and Hommus on pita bread - about 6 dips

Amazing Cheese Platter - about 5 slices of cheese, maybe only 4

One glass of Punch

Back at home:

Sugarfree V

And tomorrow is a brand new day, thank goodness!

Off to see the wizard(/supervisor!) (H: 85.9)

2008-04-11T09:38:00.004+10:00

Off to see my thesis supervisor - will report in later!

x

7.30am Two Toast - one with vegemite (1) , one with peanut butter (1 + 1.5), and a glass of skim milk (1.5) (5 > 5 points)
12.30pm Pasta (4) with Bolognaise (2.5) (6.5 > 11.5)
2.30pm Two Freddo Frogs (3 > 14.5)
2.30pm Two starburst lollies (0.5 > 15)
2.45pm Gloria Jeans Iced Coffee (5 > 20) [OUCH!! I didn't realise it was so high!!]
6.30pm Couscous (2 > 22)
8.00pm Fish Korma (4 > 26)

... well I'm over by 5 points (damn gloria jeans!!) but I guess that's just life.

In other news I had a great report from my supervisor today so I'm feeling more on track which is good.

Oh - last night we went out with some friends and saw STEP UP 2 - in a word "wow". I really want to be able to dance like that! So I did some push ups and sit ups this morning to build up to being able to control my body like that. Wow! Totally recommend it. Unfortunately cause it was the 9.15 session we got home late after hanging out and I was really tired today - thus the afternoon chocolate and coffee :S

xx

WI Day Rolls Around Again (H: 85.1) (WI: 85.2)

2008-04-10T07:13:00.010+10:00

This is the most nervous day of my week. Weigh In Day.

Wish me luck!

Note: I'm so nervous. I'd love to WI under 85kg today, I'd LOVE to break that barrier, it would make me the slimmest since I started ww, and the slimmest I've been this year. But I'm so nervous that I might achieve it that all I can think of is everything I want to eat BEFORE I weigh in. I'm thinking I should drink 2L of water now, eat a huge bowl of couscous, devour some ice-cream. My mind is trying to sabotage me! But I won't give in - I'm not eating a bite until I've weighed in. I'll do what I always do and take something to eat during the meeting... rather than my normal sandwich I might even take couscous - I don't need to eat it now if I know I'll eat it in 2 hours time. I'm so nervous, if I do go under 85 I never want to be above it again, this is a big morning for me.

... I caved.

9.02am One Cup of Couscous (2 > 2 points)
10.30am Water (600ml) (0 > 2 points)
11.10am 3 Macadamia Nuts & Bite of Chocolate (1 > 3 points)
1.15pm Three rolls of sushi (7 > 10 points)
1.20pm Coke Zero (0 > 10 points)
3.00pm Oreo Biscuit (1 > 11 points)
4.20pm Water (0 > 11 points)
5.20pm XL Diet Coke (0 > 11 points)
5.20pm McDonalds Snack Wrap (4.5 > 15.5 points) - and it didn't even taste good.
6.16pm 2 Grapes (0 > 15.5 points)
9.15pm Subway Turkey & Ham 6 Inch on Italian Herb & Cheese Bread with Sweet Onion Sauce (4.5 > 20 points)

I'm not sure if I have to add a point for the cheese and the sauce from subway? Anyway I'm counting it as it is on the etools, hey, I had it as they suggested (and dairy's important, right?). So I'm counting today as a star-day :D

... anyway I weighed in at 85.2, so still a loss, but didn't break the 85 barrier. Next week it's mine!! I'm sticking to the letter this week - bring it on! Still, I'm back to my pre-Easter weight :D

The Up(Down)Side to the Flu (H: 85.1)

2008-04-09T08:01:00.010+10:00

[Star Update for Yesterday: One star :D Under points (by lots!), but no non-incidental exercise.]

One day of the flu and I'm down a kilo. Which is good in short term, but if that's why it's been lost it will be a struggle to keep it off for next week.

Yesterday when I started sleeping I just crashed - I slept for 6 hours, then spent the rest of the day on the couch. Today I'm a bit better, but still have achey head, teeth, eyes, back, feet, throat and fluey feeling. So today is another quiet rest day. I ate a vegemite toast for breakfast, but I don't feel hungry.

I don't have anything more interesting to write, because I had such a boring day - sorry! I did watch some of "Good Luck Chuck" it's so-so... on the lower end of so-so.

xx

7.45am - Toast with Vegemite (1 > 1 points)
11.00am - Diet Aeroplane Jelly, Lime (0 > 1 points)
11.40am - Leftover Chicken Wing (2.5 > 3.5 points)
12.00pm - Peanuts (0.5 > 4 points)
12.30pm - Popcorn with salt and tbsp margarine (3pts for marg! ouch!) (4.5 > 8.5 points)
12.55pm - Large Water (0 > 8.5 points)
1.05pm - Teaspoon of Peanut Butter (0.5> 9 points)
[1.30 - 5.30 = sleeping, 4 hours]
5.39pm - Two Spoons Diet Jelly (0 > 9 points)
7.30pm - Couscous with prawn and vegies, 1 cup (2 > 11 points)
7.50pm - One Glass Orange Juice (2 > 13 points)
8.00pm - Three Glasses of Water (0 > 13 points)
8.30pm - Watermelon with 1 tbsp Mango Frozen Yoghurt (1 > 14 points)

Wow that looks like a lot of food.

Going Under! (H: 86.1)

2008-04-08T07:03:00.013+10:00

[Star Update for Yesterday: No stars :( Went 2 points over, and no non-incidental exercise. Try again today.]

Yes! I just jumped on the scales and am a little less - back to losing for this week. I WI on Thursdays so although I try to lose weight every day, I tend to actually drop on the scales post-weekend, and this is a good start. This is what I weighed last Thursday (at home) so I'd like to go under it for this Thursday's WI - aiming at 300g loss, delighted with more, will perservere through less or even a gain. Oooh, but I hope it's under!

Back to the office today, feeling a bit better after some sleep, ready to earn some dollars.

...
Well, I didn't go to work. It's just after 9 now and I'm about to curl up in bed. I took a sick day. I always feel guilty taking a sick day on days like today, when I know I could carry out the motions of doing the work, but every fibre of my body just wants to sleep and rest. And be cuddled, but I'm home alone. I feel a bit better knowing I don't have any leftover work to get done today, so I'm not putting anyone behind, and I'm casual, but I feel guilty anyway, even though we've now paid for our tickets to India and are going well with our budget. But I do feel sick, and I got D to take my temperature and it was up.

Anyway, I was talking to D this morning, and he was like 'you look and sound sick' and I was like 'I feel sick' and he was like 'how do you feel sick' and I was like 'I'm ok' then we were getting ready for work, then I started crying (go figure!) and he was like 'are you ok' and I was like 'my eyes hurt and my nose hurts and my head hurts and my skin is hot-cold-hot-cold-hot and my thesis is due in 6 weeks and I have 2 practice files and India is soon and I don't know how to plan your birthday celebration or what day to have it and I have sore bones and my head hurts and I don't have enough time to keep our house clean and I'm not a very good cook and my stomache hurts and I'm so fat and so overweight and so tired and I feel really overwhelmed *sob sob*' and he was like 'stay home sick' and I was like 'but I'm scheduled to work' and he was like 'but you're sick' so I was like 'ok'.

Well, it was a bit more stressed than that but that's the gist. So I'm rugged up and ready for a nap. Now I have permission to stay home and sleep, that's all I want to do - I don't even want to look at my thesis.

I did put on my trackies to go for a jog before my sleep (today is my jogging day) but have been firmly told not to go out in the cold and rain and not to exercise and just to rest. So I might go for a walk later, but for now, just resting sounds really good.

Ok, points (is this very boring, blogging this?)

7.15am - Toast with Vegemite (1 > 1 points)
7.15am - Glass of Skim Milk (1.5 > 2.5 points)
[9.30 - 3.30 = sleeping, 6 glorious hours]
4.31pm - Small (100g) Tub of plain Vanilla Yoghurt (1.5 > 4 points)
7.30pm - Wholemeal pasta (about 3 tbsp) (1.5 > 5.5 points)
7.30pm - Bolognaise, about 2 Tbsp (1 > 6.5 points)
7.35pm - Milk Smoothie (sml banana, skim milk, ice, vanilla essence) (2.5 > 9 points)

Well, it's not an ideal amount to eat - less than half what I'm meant to eat in a day, and I think the pasta and bolognaise estimates are a bit high, I had about 1/3 of a little rice bowl for dinner. But at least I managed the drink the smoothie, which has dairy and fruit, so that squeezed in some points, and nutrition. I'll feel better from that.

I'm so tired.

xx

Rain, Rain, For a Fresh Start Monday (H: 86.4)

2008-04-07T08:12:00.016+10:00

It's raining today, I love the rain. But I must confess, I love the rain more when I'm inside under a doona watching a romantic comedy than when I'm going to have to run for a train! Still though, I like the rain.

Well, I'm another 100g up from yesterday, but I track SO much water last night, not to mention a huge amount of DC so I'm hoping there's some water loading there that will flush out by Thursday's WI. We also had a curry for dinner, that's going to stick in my belly for a little while maybe. Anyway, it's a new day! And last night was so lovely - we watched a romantic comedy on dvd (where Catherine Zeta-Jones is a waitress who looks after her orphaned niece and falls in love with her co-chef). We originally got a crappy version - it was scratched and jumped through the whole second half of the movie, so after trying skipping chapters, restarted, etc etc we just walked back down to civic and asked for a replacement and a second new release, which they let us have! So we actually ended up with 2 dvds for the price of one, which was very nice. So we watched the end of the first movie last night, and have one to watch tonight :D

We also went for a bit of a walk - we shop on the weekends and were out of bread, fruits, vegies, so we decided to go for a walk to our local shops and buy them there, which was nice to get out together. And with the extra hour sleep last night (seeing as we went to bed early because it felt like 11 when it was only 10!) I feel very refreshed now :D

In other news, yesterday I was looking through our iphoto to see if there were any photos I should put up as inspiration, and it was so disheartening - ALL of them would be good motivational photos - that's pretty bad. In fact, the few I do have on this blog are probably some of the slimmest of me! I wanted to do a post just putting them all up, as a reminder of how serious my weight issue is, but I got too embarrassed. Maybe I will later, but I just couldn't face it yesterday. Especially photos of me with friends, looking way out of proportion. It was gross. Even the photos where I got down to 70s and thought I looked really thin, I still look 15-20kg overweight (which I was, to be fair). Maybe that post will come, but it was a very impacting moment.

Today I start using my "My Journal" from ww, I'm excited. My goal is to use it EVERY DAY until end of April. Yesterday I drew up two sheets of paper - one with a map of April, and one with a chart of my weight every day until the end of April. I know, I know, I shouldn't weigh everyday, but I already do, I already put it on this blog! Might as well see what that looks like as a graph. For every day I stay on track, I'm going to give myself a star (I've already put them next to the calendar) and another one if I do a real chunk of exercise. I love stars :D

I'll fill you in on my points a little later :D

xx

8.50am - Sugarfree gum (0 > 0 points)
10.30am - Bread with Pesto Spread (1.5 > 1.5 points)
10.30am - Medium Banana (1.5 > 3 points)
11.10am - Big Glass of Water (0 > 3 points)
12.40pm - Tablespoon of Icecream (1 > 4 points)
1.00pm - Wholegrain Sandwich with Ham, Salad, Hommus and Pesto (5 > 9 points)
3.15pm - Chocolate Gelato (about 2.5 scoops, maybe a bit less) (6 > 15 points)
6.45pm - Fish and vegie Korma (4.5 > 19.5 points)
on Vermicelli (1.5 > 21 points)
Water, lots of water (0 > 21 points)
8.45pm - Two Iced Vo Vos (2 > 23 points)

So close!! Those vo vos put me over - auuuggghhhh!!!

I tracked everything though, and now I know my minimum exercise for tomorrow has to be 2 points worth, I can do that.

I had a good day though, just catching up, and tonight was another India meeting, which was pretty good too. I feel pretty seedy though with this flu, I'm contemplating a sick day tomorrow but I know I won't, because that's not my style. I'll go, and I'll do a damn good job at whatever I'm given, then I'll come home and crash. That's more my style. For now, I'm wrecked. Goodnight and sweet dreams - and Happy Birthday JoGirl!! Just had a sneak at your blog, those happycakes look great!!

xx

Easy like a Sunday Morning (H: 86.3)

2008-04-06T13:48:00.006+10:00

I love weddings. Catie looked gorgeous in a beautiful gown (and my veil, which was kind of special) and I love hearing people make their vows, especially now we've had our wedding - having put so much thought into what the vows mean when we got married, it means lots more now. My prayer felt quite long (I'm not much of a public speaker, so even reading a prayer was a bit nerve wracking) but a few people came up and commented on it which was nice, and lots of married people said they thought it was good things to pray for - which is good because it's what I pray for D & I. Anyway, the service was great, with wonderful music, a great talk, beautiful marriage, everyone looked stunning (including AP, who I mentioned before was losing weight to be a bridesmaid - she looked HOT), weather was perfect, company delightful and it was just a great day.

The Bride And Groom :D

Between the service and reception lots of my school friends (and the boys we're now attached to!) came back to my place to spend the time, which was wonderful. Some people had a nap, we drank lots of water with lime (after a glorious afternoon tea/lunch in the church hall we were very full - even too full for champagne!) listened to some Explosions in the Sky and other cruisy music and just caught up on life. It's amazing to think we graduated almost 6 years ago but we're still so close and can giggle and laugh and d&m and chat our way easily through an afternoon, and giggle lots more! It was good for D too - he and Alan (Alex's hubby) had a coffee on our balcony to catch up, and later he took Phil (Pun's bf) out with him to buy some turkish bread, hommus and chunky basil pesto dip for a snack, which meant he got to build more on friendships with the boys - it's good that the boys make an effort with each other - some even play on indoor soccer teams together - it makes it nice when all the girls catch up with partners - and means they can chat together while we giggle our way through an afternoon!

Caught with my hands in my pockets..

School Girls (minus the bride!)... half the photos been cut off but I don't know how to fix it!

The reception was beautiful - it was at Mosman Art Gallery, which is like an old restored church, and the food was amazing. Good for ww too! They had several types of salads (a roast pumpkin/walnut based salad, a chickpea/herbs based salad, a green salad, etc) on the table with lamb, potatos, breads, quiche, etc so you could serve yourself what you wanted to eat - like each table was a mini-buffet. So I had a little bit of everything, more of the salad, and that was good. Also for some reason when dessert time came D didn't have a dessert plate in front of him, but that worked out because we shared my mini-mud cake. That said, it wasn't that healthy a day, because there was lots of champagne, a lovely red wine, some soft drinks to counter the champagne and red wine... not to mention the champagne and food at afternoon tea, or the 2 wedding cakes!

All in all, a lovely day. And we danced a little :D

Then this morning, instead of the (intended) extra sleep in, both D and I were awake early-ish, so we ended up spending the morning in our dressing gowns catching up over a yummy breakfast. We had a 'recovery breakfast' of ham, cheese, tomato on turkish bread melted in the grill- mine had some pesto and hommus on it too. Yum. Oh, and warm tea, love a morning cup of tea. Then we headed down to church for the last day of the Moore College mission - which of course meant more food (it's the churchy way). We had our 2 morning teas (one halfway through church, one at the end) but I just had one amazingly yum biscuit creation, which was like a soft anzac type biscuit moulded into a little cup, with caramel cream in the middle -wow! And then after second morning tea we had a sausage sizzle lunch!

It's a lot of food, but it does mean a good chance to catch up and talk to everyone, and because there's not that many of us in total it's good to get to know the other people. Plus, a morning tea just before the talk is a good way to stretch and refuel to help pay attention!

On the way home I did the scungy 'morning after' thing and drove through maccas, but at least I was fairly controlled - a mega-sized diet coke, and a mcflurry. The mcflurry's probably almost 10 points, but I avoided the chips, burgers, nuggets that usually call to me when I'm near maccas! Hopefully I'll soon be cutting down to just the DC.

Not much else to blog about - today I'm planning to write the rest of my thesis, maybe go for a walk with D this evening (not another run after yesterday, not yet anyway, maybe after the champagne wears off!). I have the WW points tracker journal, which I'd forgotten about last week, so I'm starting that tomorrow morning - so I can track there and on this blog. I'm staying relaxed this weekend and not tracking, especially after Friday's binge. I know if I'm just a bit easier on myself now I can be back on track tomorrow - that one mcflurry is better than not getting it then going a bit crazy with eating when I got home!

Ok, end of a long post, cya later!

Today I ate:

Breakfast - Turkish bread with pesto and hommus, ham, low-fat cheese and tomato, grilled + a cup of tea
Snack - Amazing biscuit-caramel-thingo + 3 cubes of cheese + 2 teas (one at each morning tea) + 3 waters
Lunch - Sausage with tomato sauce on 1 piece of bread + Huge Diet Coke + McFlurry
Dinner - The best meal I think I've cooked so far! Fish, pumpkin, potato and coconut korma with brocolli and peanuts cooked in, on a bed of vermicelli. Wow! It was really yum, and full of vegies, had fish, and tasted great. In fact, after I ate this amazing meal, I was so satisfied and content I didn't even desire icecream when D got some for him.

Ooh! And lots and lots of water. We're having fun with water at the moment - tonight we had it in a big jug with ice and lime, and each had a very large red wine glass with lots of ice and lime slivers, and a big piece of lime on the rim of the glass, like a water cocktail! Hehe, yum.

xx

Wedding Day (H: 86.1)

2008-04-05T09:09:00.003+11:00

Today is my friend's wedding day!! I'm so excited for her - I'm saying a prayer at the wedding so I've been up since early to work out what to say and to write it down - it makes me so excited about their new life together, and I reflect on me & D's marriage too. Marriage is such a special gift, when you marry the right person.

Anyway, D's agreed to come for a run today, so we're going now - better go! Will let you know how I go today... don't think it will be easy - there's the wedding, with an afternoon tea and a reception (and it starts at 12 so we'll probably be pretty hungry when it starts!) then the girls from schools (and their bfs, husbands, etc) are coming over to our unit (which is still a mess, hit by the thesis-bomb!) for lunch!! So just hope there's not lots of left overs (and at least we can make something light), then off to the reception for dinner!! I'm heaps excited though, I think it'll be a really fun day.

10.20am
Well we went for the run. It was awful. I couldn't make it through each run session. I guess that's what you get for not exercising for 2 weeks! At least we went out, and we kept moving for the whole time, and I ran as much of it as I could, then walked, then ran again - I even ran during the cool down time to try and make up for all my non-running in the running times. So frustrating I haven't kept up. I'll have to try some more until I conquer the week 3 of c25k!!!

Catch ya!

xx

Let's go, new week, another loss to come! (H: 86.1)

2008-04-04T07:18:00.007+11:00

A new weeks, and I'm ready to go and hit up a new week with a new loss!! I'd like to lose 1kg this week, but heard good advise from the ww mtg last night - to aim for 300g a week, and if you get it, great! If you get more, wonderful! If you don't get it, it's still a loss. If you get a gain, learn and move on. So, my goal is 300g, my hope is 1kg!

Points...

7.35am - Water [0 points]
7.35am - Banana [1.5 points]
8.15am - Water [0 points]
9.15am - Sliced potato, spray olive oil, chilli and herbs, baked [1.5 points]
10.34am - Tbsp Peanut Butter (hmmm) [2.5 points]

The rest of the day, until 3pm was a total write off - a big binge (like half a container of icecream, with milo and chocolate sauce -think 4 bowlfuls, instant noodles, chicken wings, peanut butter on bread... yikes) - at least at 3pm I decided to go to sleep, at least I can't eat and sleep at the same time! At least I didn't vomit or anything after eating so much. I watched Dr Phil with a story on anorexia/bullemia and it made me realise that any sort of unhealthy relationship with food is so damaging to my body, so I really want to change.

Tonight we had an amazing dinner out - friends took us out to La Libertine in Kings Cross, it's an amazing french-vietnamese restuarant witht he most incredible food and wine. Wow! We had duck and squid for entree, my main was hot-pot vegies (after the binge today I though some vegies might be good!) but I tried the seafood curry, the whole cooked fish and the beef brisket, and we had a cheese platter with vietnamese coffee for dessert. A wonderful night. We just got home, about 11.30 and I'm pretty sleepy (and tipsy!) so I'm off to bed.

Night - mwah!

xx

WI DAY! New Week of Tracking, Day 7 (H: 86.1) (WI: 85.7) - 1KG!!

2008-04-03T08:05:00.008+11:00

WI day today - come 10am I have to stand on those scales and face up to a week of tracking, but tracking too much, and pretty much no exercise. But I'm going to do it!

Meanwhile, I'm pretty frustrated at the moment with some stuff at home, and a bit worried about finances, we may have to pull out of the India trip and either way may have to withdraw from (paid) ww for a while. I hope not!

One of the tips I read on the ww board was to print/draw a calendar for April and put on stars for days you stay on track - maybe one for points and one if you do exercise. I like that idea, I think I will. Because I'm already a compulsive weigher I might also put down my weight, and a little graph of how I go through April - seeing as I'm hoping to get to my GWEA of 82.5kg!

After Weigh In..
I lost!! I lost a whole kilo! Yay!! I guess the tracking really helped, even though I ate lots, I must have eaten less than if I hadn't tracked. Wonder how this week will go, with each day being no more than 21 points, and with exercise. Happy, onwards and downwards!

Ok, Points... I have to be honest, I'm not very into counting points or being strict the rest of the day after a WI - so I'm not sure yet what everything is worth! And I was out for dinner with 3 wonderful girlfriends, and we went for spanish tapas and pizza, then AMAZING icecream at french riviera - if you live in Sydney and haven't been, you haven't lived. It's soooo good (but big servings, dieters beware!) - but I did have only one thing from the tapas plates, one small piece of vegie pizza, and the other junk food was for thesis writing (but I got to 954 words!). Have to go - D's making lunches and tidying up while I type and he's getting grumpy!!

POINTS FOR TODAY

Breakfast (10.10am)
Peanut Butter Sandwich = 3.5 points
17.5 points left for today

Snack (12.30pm)
Six Macadamia Nuts = 1.5 points
Water = 0 points
16 points left for today

Snack (1.30pm)
Bread with Peanut Butter = 2 points
14 points left for today

Lunch (3.00 - 6.00pm)
Pide = 4 points
Killer Python = 2 points
Diet Coke = 0 points
Hot Chips = 4.5 points
3.5 points left for today

Dinner (6.30pm)
Spanish Tapas:
Bread Roll = 2 points
Lamb Meat Ball = 3 points
Chicken Skewer = 2 points
Capsicum & Goats Cheese Roll = 1 point
One piece vegie pizza = 3 points
NEGATIVE 7.5 points left for today

Dessert (9.00pm)
Two scoops of icecream from French Riviera (nutella and coconut flavours!) = 9 points (or more!)
No points left for today

xx

New Week of Tracking, Day 6 (H: 86.1 in a jumper)

2008-04-02T07:11:00.004+11:00

Brrrr is cold!! I slept in my jumper, I even did my morning WI in my jumper. It's freezing!

Well, it's WI tomorrow and to celebrate I ate a chocolate brownie pre-breakfast. Bum. I wish people didn't give me yummy foods to take home, I already ate some last night!!

I'm looking forward to the WI tomorrow, I think I've lost some weight, although I haven't done any exercise today, or this week. D's been unwell, and now I'm catching this flu. I'm really tired! But I should still be doing some exercise - at least I'm now walking up all the stairs and walking around as much as possible as I do my day to day incidental walking. I think I'll really need to get some big exercise in, I haven't even been for a run since Easter Friday, which is a week, nearly 2 weeks ago.

Oooookay, time to track some points (and confess my brownie!!)

POINTS FOR TODAY

Pre-Breakfast (7.05am)
Chocolate Brownie = 3.5 points
Glass of Water (to combat the brownie!) = 0 points
Total for pre-breakfast = 3.5 points Total for today = 3.5 points

Snacks (8am - 1pm)
8.30pm Water = 0 points
11:30am Lindt Chocolate Ball = 2 points
11:30am Two Glasses of Water = 0 points
5.5 points

Lunch (1.15pm)
Cheese and Vegemite Sandwich = 3.5 points
Banana = 1.5 points
Uncle Tobys Fruit Bar = 2 points
Water = 0 points
12.5 points

Snack (4.00pm)
Lindt Chocolate Ball = 2 points
Water = 0 points
14.5 points

Dinner (8.00pm)
Cheese, cabinossi, crackers
Glass of wine
Glass of OJ
1.5 Chicken Sausages
Small dinner roll
Mushroom and Onion BBQ'ed (in butter)
Green Salad = 0 points
Ricotta Cheesecake
Scoop of Chocolate Gelato
Fresh Fruit
I don't know, it's so hard to count at family dinners when I don't make the food myself and just have lots of little bits. Any help welcome?

So today is finished, and it was mostly ok, it's so hard with family dinners and knowing how to count and what to eat and what to say no to. I just am not that aware yet, and when everyone is eating something I feel like I should eat it too. We're watching James Bond at the moment (well, I'm watching and blogging, D's washing up, because he does this when he gets really tired - the more tired he is the more he procrastinates from sleeping. I try to just let him do it so he goes to sleep faster than if I start cleaning and we end up in a big cleaning frenzy.

Anyway, that was my day. I think I'm ready for sleep. Tomorrow is my thesis day (and WI day!) So I hope it goes ok.

xx

New Week of Tracking, Day 5 (H: 85.7)

2008-04-01T18:45:00.002+11:00

I think I did ok today - had work which was a bit boring but it was good. Straight to points...

Breakfast (7.30am)
Banana on toast = 1.5 points
Total for today = 1.5 points

Snack (8am, 9am)
Water = 0 points
Total for today = 1.5 points

Snack (10.40am)
Skim Hot Chocolate = 2.5 points
Total for today = 4 points

Snack (12.35pm)
Uncle Tobys Fruit Bar = 2 points
Total for today = 6 points

Lunch (1.10pm)
Vegemite and Cheese Sandwich = 3.5 points
Apple = 1 point
Water = 0 points
Total for today = 9.5 points

Snack (3pm, 6pm)
Water = 0 points
Two Chewing Gums = 0 points
Total for today = 9.5 points

Snack (7pm)
Bread and Peanut Butter = 2 points
Total for today = 11.5 points

Dinner (8pm)
Rice, chicken and cauliflower, broccoli = 6 points
Total for today = 17.5 points

... and there's still some points for a chocolate brownie at bible study tonight!

xx

New Week of Tracking, Day 4 (86.5)

2008-03-31T21:34:00.003+11:00

New day, new set of tracking. Did better, I think. Had uni, then had India meeting. Stoked - can't wait to fly out. 12-13 weeks to go. Wow. Maybe I'll lose 12 kilos by then. I'd like that. Ate ok, binged on marshmallows, but when everyone went to oportos for dinner had a small burger and water to drink, no chips or chocolate mousse. If only I had avoided the ice-cream I would have actually stuck to these points. I'm just amazed a sandwich is 5 whole points. Maybe it wasn't that high in real life. I can only hope.

POINTS FOR TODAY

Breakfast (7.30am)
Vegemite toast = 1 point
Half a cup of skim milk = 0.5 points
Total points for breakfast = 1.5 points Today points for today = 1.5 points
Snack (11.15am)
Diet coke = 0 points
Total points for snack = 0 points Total points for today = 1.5 points

Snack (11.35am)
Fruit break bar from Uncle Tobys = 2 points
Half a cucumber = 0 points
Total points for snack = 0 points Total points for today = 3.5 points

Lunch (12.14pm)
Lamb and cheese sandwich = 5.0 points
Water = 0 points
Total points for lunch = 5.0 points Total points for today = 8.5 points

Snack (2.00pm)
Cup of tea = 0.5 points
Total points for snack = 0.5 points Total points for today = 9.0 points

Snack (3.12pm)
Pack of marshmallows = 6 points
Water = 0 points
Total points for snack = 6 points Total points for today = 15 points

Pre-Dinner (5.30pm)
Sushi roll (chicken) = 2.5 points
Points for pre-dinner = 2.5 points
Points for today = 17.5 points

Dinner (8.00pm)
Oportos norm single burger = 6.5 points
Water = 0 points
Total points for dinner = 6.5 points
Total points for today = 24.0 points

Dessert (9.20pm)
Single scoop of vanilla ice-cream = 4.5 points
Total points for dessert = 4.5 points
Total points for today = 28.5 points

I'm keep to get 12 kilos lighter by India - it's a new goal!

Tomorrow also starts "GWEA" - a way of focusing on a "goal weight for the end of April". Mine's 82.5kg by end of April. Wish me luck (and focus, determination and perseverance, and an ability to say no!"

xx

New Week of Tracking, Day 3 (H: 85.8)

2008-03-30T09:00:00.004+11:00

The scales are starting to go down! Yay!

Today we have church (with muffins and 2 morning teas!), lunch perhaps with D's parents, then as far as I know a quiet day of study and time at home. Hopefully a day where I get a bit more control over what I plan to eat, and get some study done! :D

Awww, D just brought me a glass of cold water with lime! So sweet! Especially as I'm getting a flu and my throat hurts. Love love love.

POINTS FOR TODAY

Pre-Breakfast (9.05am)
Cold Water with Lime = 0 points
Total for pre-breakfast = 0 points
Total for today = 0 points

Breakfast (9.30am)
Apple = 1 point
Ski D'lite Berry Yoghurt = 3 points (!)
Watermelon and Apple = 1 point
Water = 0 points
Total for pre-breakfast = 5 points
Total for today = 5 points

Snack (10.30am)
One Sakata = 0 points
Coffee with Milk = 0.5 points
Water = 0 points
Total for snack = 0.5 points
Total for today = 5.5 points

Lunch (2.10pm)
Two pieces pizza hut garlic bread = 2.5 points
One Slice Hawaiian Pizza = 3.5 points
Three Slices Vegetarian Pizza no Cheese = 7.5 points
Total for lunch = 13.6 points
Total for today = 19 points

Dinner (7.30pm)
Red Wine and Two Spring Rolls at the Vietnamese Festival = 5 points
Vietnamese Dinner with D and my parents = unknown - rice paper roll, two serves rice, sizzling lamb, beancurd and vegies, and lemongrass & chilli prawns, with green tea. I'm guessing lots of points.
A scoop of ice-cream with ice-magic (study food, and I was already over so might as well have a small dessert) = 4.5 points
Total for dinner = too many points
Today for today = too many points!

Oh well, it was fun to go to the vietnamese festival, and to catch up with my parents, and it was nice of them to take us out for dinner too. Hopefully I walked some of it off! And hopefully tomorrow is a better day.

xx

New Week of Tracking, Day 2 (H: 86.3)

2008-03-29T09:21:00.007+11:00

Ok it's Day 2 - today won't be a very easy day. It's a Saturday, and that brings with it Social Outings. Today I'm balancing a food tasting (for market research, it pays, but after yesterday I'm thinking of pulling out!) A farewell dinner at a pub for a friend going to Japan, a housewarming house party, and maybe spending the day with some friends to celebrate Earth Hour (although we'll have to leave before the actual Earth Hour cause we have dinner... but they have a fun idea - a day hanging out at their house (with pool!) with a candlelit backyard picnic for Earth Hour... so sweet!)

But, this is not unusual for me, I have to make WW and points fit in with my life. So today is my challenge to achieve that, within 21 points!

... D just woke up (it's about 9.30am now, which is a big sleep in for me) and said a quick good morning then 'why are you on the internet? I thought you'd be out running?' ... now, my first reaction was to feel a bit offended and righteous (why should I be running when he's sleeping? And I'm tracking points on here!) but now I feel a little bit chuffed - he expected me to be running. That means he's starting to see me as a runner... yes? At the very least, 2 months ago he'd never have said that to me in the morning, so there's gotta be some kind of a change going on!

Ok, Points Time (a bit smaller today):

POINTS FOR TODAY

Pre-Breakfast (9.10am)
A few leftover chips from last night (before I wrote this post! No more I swear! I've already thrown the rest in the bin!) = 2.0 points
Total for pre-breakfast = 2.0 points
Total for today = 2.0 points

Pre-Breakfast (10.00am)
Half a cup of skim milk = 0.5 points
Total for pre-breakfast = 0.5 points
Total for today = 2.5 points

Breakfast (11.10am)
3 Multigrain Corn Thins = 1 point
with 3/4 Medium Banana spread on top (yum!) = 1 point
Two Glasses of Water = 0 points
Total for breakfast = 2.0 points
Total for today = 4.5 points

Snack (11.50am)
Half an Apple = 0.5 points
Total for snack = 0.5 points
Total for today = 5.0 points

Lunch (11.10am)
Beef in vermicelli salad = 3 points
One Glass of Water = 0 points
Two Glasses of Soda Water with Diet Lime Cordial = 0 points
Six Jatz Biscuits = 2 points
Mini Easter Egg, Lindt 70% Cocoa = 1 point
Chocolate from Cadbury Easter Egg = 3 points
Total for lunch = 9.0 points
Total for today = 14.0 points

Snack (6.12pm)
Corn Thin with Peanut Butter = 1 points
Total for snack = 1.0 point
Today for today = 15.0 points

Dinner (8.30pm)
Vegetarian pub pizza (on pita bread), no cheese = 3.5 points
Three glasses of water = 0 points
Total for dinner = 3.5 points
Today for today = 18.5 points

After - Dinner at Party (10.30pm)
One Iced Cupcake = 3.0 points
One glass of water = 0 points
Total for after-dinner = 3.0 points
Today for today = 21.5 points

My Thoughts on the Day:
Much better - only 0.5 points over (not ideal, probably could have avoided the cupcake, and it could have been more than 3 points... the ones on etools vary between 2 and 4.5 points, so this is a happier medium). Considering we ate lunch out, dinner out, went to a party, and were in "weekend mode" I think we did quite well. Hopefully the results will show on the scales!

I love eating out with friends, and D & I are really trying to make time to see friends in more intimate situations (dinner with 1-3 others, not big meals for 20, or seeing each other at parties or big groups only) and so far I love it. I love having people over for a meal, I love going out to other houses or restaurants or cafes for meals, I love the chance to properly catch up and hang out, I love that we're getting to know our good friends a bit better. But it's hard with trying to lose weight - especially as the 'it's a special occassion / one off / treat / with friends" excuse becomes something that comes up 4 or more times in a weekend, let alone during the week! So I feel good that today I made some more healthy choices while out with friends - although I have more to learn (namely not taking food that is offered to me!).

2 things I've read, quotes etc, from today that have been in my mind (mostly from the ww boards or site):
>> losing weight is hard. being overweight is hard. choose your hard.
>> it's not the food or your mouth or the company that's to blame for your weight. It's your wrist. Stop your wrist picking up the wrong food, and you'll only eat the right food.

xx

New Week of Tracking, Day 1 (H: 86.4)

2008-03-28T07:34:00.006+11:00

Ok, I'm on track, and that means this week is all about tracking. Hope this doesn't get too boring, especially as I'm going to write on this public blog what I eat. Hope it keeps me a bit accountable!!

Before that though, yesterday was fun. Finally I got some uni work done - I went in to uni and spent the day with a good friend M, which also involved eating lollies (2 killer pythons and some crazy peach lollies he brought back from Canada), and lots of facebooking. So not quite as much study as we'd planned, but it was a good dent and we're planning on doing it next week again :D Maybe with a swim thrown in!

After studying, at 6, we went to the Christian Public Meeting at our uni, which was really good - heaps more relaxed vibe going to a night one, and then out to dinner with friends, at the local pub. Yikes - pub food! But I had a diet coke and a vegie pizza - which is a pita bread pizza with some tomato sauce, stacks of fresh vegies, but then *duh dum, duh dum, jaws music* oodles of cheese! So next time - same order minus the cheese. It was yum though!

Earlier in the day was the WW WI, ouch... Put on 1.5kg, so, that's my kick up the bum to be on track this week. I just have to do it, no excuses. I'm quite excited actually - I'm looking forward to a loss next week (I hope I hope I hope!!) So please feel free to keep me accountable!! I will eat no more than my 21 points per day!

On that note...

POINTS FOR TODAY

Breakfast (7.45am)
Small bowl of nutrigrain (only cereal in the house!) = 1.5 points
Cup of skim milk (measured) = 1.5 points
Cup of tea (no extra milk - used left over from my cup) = 0 points
Total for breakfast = 3.0 points
Total for today = 3.0 points

Snack (9.40am)
Tub of Ski D'lite yoghurt = 1.5 points
Water = 0 points
Total for snack = 1.5 points
Total for today = 4.5 points

Lunch (12.00pm)
Roast lamb and salad sandwich = 4.5 points
Banana = 1.5 points
Water = 0 points
Total for lunch = 6 points
Total for today = 10.5 points

Snack (3.15pm)
Apple = 1 point
Total for snack = 1 point
Total for today = 11.5 points

Snack (5.15pm)
2 corn thins with vegimite = 0.5 points
Total for snack = 0.5 points
Total for today = 12.0 points

Snack (6.00pm)
2 corn thins, plain = 0.5 points
Total for snack = 0.5 points
Total for today = 13.0 points

Dinner (7.30pm)
Handful of Red Rock Deli chips = 4 points
Water = 0 points
Cup of coke = 2 points
Spaghetti = 1.5 points
with Bolognaise (made of mince, canned beans, lots of vegies, tomato) = 1.5 points
More Water = 0 points
Total for dinner = 9 points
Total for today = 21.0 points

Dessert (9.00pm)
Strawberries with cream = 16.5 points
(made with fresh strawberries soaked in contreau, then use the sauce to mix with cream and some strawberry puree, sprinkle chocolate on top - our lovely guests brought these in individual bowls, and so although I'd planned to stop at those 21 points, this sort of blew that out of the water... then when I used the recipie builder to estimate the damage...ouch!)
Total for dessert = 16.5 points
Total for today = 37.5 points

My Thoughts on the Day:
ouch that was a lot of points in one dessert! And hard to say no too. We had 2 good friends over for dinner, and they brought the chips, coke, and dessert. I'm not sure how to avoid this sort of situation where I feel like a) it's polite and b) it's part of being in the group to have a bit of what they bring (especially the desserts, which had clearly taken lots of time) - but with the dessert I had no control over serving sizes. Maybe I have to just say no, or not eat it all, and I should have just avoided the coke and chips, but one good thing is that I tracked them all - and now I know just how much I should get up and go do some exercise!! Yikes!

xx

WI Day Today!! (H: 86.7) (WI: 86.7)

2008-03-27T07:41:00.003+11:00

Weigh in today!! I've decided it means today is a new start - a chance to go, be weighed, recommit and as part of that, have a week of points tracking. Core is great - I really like it, but I went off track in 2 ways.

1. I started being very lose with my definition of "core food" - somehow hot cross buns became just like wholegrain bread, diet icecream became the same as skim milk, and...

2. ...little things like chocolates, jaffas, cake slices, biscuits just "snuck in" - as a "healthy balance". Aiiiiiieee.

It's so easy when I'm out of my normal comfort zone and with other people eating a certain way, to just keep eating. Yikes! Therefore, today is a fresh start.

xx

After WI:
Gross, I put on 1.5kg this week. That's a lot of eating. But I'm refocussed and not giving up. And I bought a tracking journal - back to points for me!

And, in the grossest unfairness ever, after WI I had a really upset stomache, went to the bathroom and seriously must have lost like 2kg. And my first thought was "why couldn't this have happened an hour ago??" lol, hmm. Anyway, what's done is done and I'm on track for next week - bring it on!

xx

A pretty sucky day (H: 86.7)

2008-03-26T20:28:00.002+11:00

Today was pretty sucky. Work was alright, I caught up with 2 good friends M and K who I hadn't seen for a while for lunch, but the work itself is a bit mind-numbing. But more D and I had a cranky morning and I just felt a bit blah all day.

WI tomorrow, and the only question is how much I'm going to gain.

Back home, and a little heavier (86.3)

2008-03-25T20:26:00.005+11:00

I had an awesome long weekend - at first I thought I would be super good and lose weight as well, but then I thought I would just relax and enjoy it - choose to relax and enjoy it - and get back on track when I get home.

So, I relaxed, I enjoyed, and now it's time to

get back on track!

So, what did I do? Well, I went away with the Christian group from my uni to hear some talks on ethics, which were awesome. Although I must say, we Christians have got the junk food thing bad... we had big breakfasts, desserts at lunch and dinner, morning and afternoon tea (biscuits, cakes,

you name it) and of course, discussion group time had lollies, m&ms, chips, chocolates - yikes! Haha, considering the number of hot cross buns and easter eggs, I think my little gain was not too bad! :D Just as long as that's all it is - a little gain and now back on track, like a train to a destination - choo choo!

What else can I say? D bought me a great little easter lindt bunny

(yum!) and I bought him an egg (which melted on the way up, lol, so he got an 'easter sculpture'). We went for a run together, and a swim one morning (I love swimming, so nice!). The talks were awesome and I learnt so much - esp about how to critically think about what is behind what ppl say about certain views. Loved it!

And Monday night was our first dinner to meet the people we're going to India with!! I can't wait!!

Other news - today I started back at work. And I found myself craving the hot chocolates, the coffees, the food court food, the chocolate treats - so tomorrow the plan is to go prepared with stacks of carrots!

D was sick today so he stayed home, but he was so nice, he did washing, grocery shopping AND cooked a roast for dinner! How lucky am I!

Well, that's all for now - thank you for all the lovely comments! It was so nice to come back and see some comments on a post, I love reading other people's blogs and so far at least I feel so much more accountable knowing there are people reading :D

So, I'll leave you with a pic of me with some of the other great people from this weekend - I'm on the right in the black. There's a new photo on the RHS of me and D catching up on the study - my bum hardly fits on the chair!! A little reminder of how good it was to go away and learn, fellowship, and have fun, but also that I have some real weight to lose!

To Do:

* Take vegies and healthy food to work tomorrow

* Uni reading

* WI Thurs morning

* Finish unit one before meeting on Monday

* Confirm dinner with J&A Friday night

* Turn memos into thesis draft

* Library day for thesis

A new day (H: 85.9)

2008-03-20T08:00:00.003+11:00

Today is a new day:

Yesterday may have been a mini-tragedy, but today is a new day.

Today is also the day we go to camp - we're going out to dinner tonight and then out until Monday lunch at camp, and dinner Monday night. That's 12 meals in a row I have almost no control over, and 1 were we eat out but I get to order. So the challenge - portion size!

Of course the other challenge right now - uni work!

I seem to only ever be able to do one thing really well at a time. So if I'm having some success with ww (which despite 2 boo-boos in the last 2 days I am), I seem to use a lot of time on ww boards, blogs, reading the material, going for walks... and my uni work suffers. So the challenge this week is perspective and balance, I'll let you know how I go.

Another big sleep! (H:85.8)

2008-03-19T08:22:00.008+11:00

Shin Splint ->>

I had another big sleep last night, it's weird being so tired.

We had a yum dinner last night. Tuesday dinner's are always a bit weird because I cook them, then we take them to bible study and heat them up to eat - cause we start driving down when D gets home from work. I could eat mine earlier, but I really like eating with him (even if we're on different sides of the room eating from tupperware!)

Anyway, I baked some potato, pumpkin and sweet potato with a little bit of olive oil, some chilli flakes, basil and oregano. With it we had chicken (one drumstick for me, 2 for D) that had been marinated and then cooked in the oven, and this yum vegie mix - basically stacks of fresh vegies (mushroom, zucchini, carrot, tomato), onion and garlic, and some red kidney beans, with a splash of soy sauce. It was really yum - a very garlic soy gourmet vegie thing. Today I'm going to cook up some pasta and we'll have the rest of the vegies (there's a whole bowl full left!) stirred through pasta - yum!

Time for a quick run, then to the library for "operation thesis"!!

xx

Ow! Ow! Ow!

I just did my run, and OW! My shins are so sore, and my ankle too. I couldn't finish the last run - not because I was tired (although I was) but because the jolting on my shins was so sore.

I posted for advice on the ww board, and have heard to drink more water, and that it's probably a shin splint and to rest. I tell you, whatever it is, it hurts.

Has this happened to anyone else? What do I do? I don't want to stop running, I'm only just getting into it!!

xx

UPDATE AT END OF DAY:

Eugh, I so could have had a better day than I had today. I had my run, but then I settled down to read blogs and the ww boards. "Just a quick read" before heading into uni... ha! I didn't even make it in to uni! I didn't even really make it off the couch!

I ate ok mostly - had my vegies with pasta, but boy did I blow it with a pizza. And I ordered the pizza knowing I shouldn't and that I had better options! Aaauuuuggghhhh... self sabotaging.

Then D came home, and he's gone to TKD now - it's a black belt training session so I couldn't even go with him. I feel like I've spent the whole day in a 2.5m x 2.5m box - which really - I have. Except for my run, thank goodness for that.

I didn't even really get through my uni readings. Hah - didn't "really" get through... I barely started! Seriously, I read like one or two pages.

1-2 pages!

Eugh! I feel so gross.

I don't get it! I have a great loss of 1.3kg, then I sabotage with 10 frankfurts! And then almost a whole pizza!

It's like a don't even want this, but I do. And now work days have changed and I'm changing meeting times again (now to Thursdays) I really need to take it seriously. But it's just one more bad day.

I watched so much TV today - some oprah, some movie, some all saints, some saints and sinners, some news, some deal or no deal, some friends, some neighbours, some biggest loser, some, I don't even know. I need to turn off the tv and do something productive with my days. I hope I'm not the only one who has these days.

xx

WI Day Today (H: 85.5) (WI: 85.3 = -1.3!!)

2008-03-18T08:04:00.007+11:00

BEFORE WEIGH IN:

Oooh, I hope my home scales are accurate! That would be a 1kg loss, and I really could use that!!

I feel so nervous and bloated and heavy - especially with going to a new meeting! I just really really want a loss...

update: after going to the bathroom, scales were 85.1, but 85.8 with clothes and shoes on. When I take off the shoes they're 85.4. I really want to weigh with my shoes off! My other havaianas are 300g, these are 400g (they're B's thongs) - but then I don't want to be too legalistic either. And I know if I take my shoes off this time, I will tell myself I have to keep taking them off every time.

Oh, too hard.

xx

AFTER WEIGH IN:

What a loss!! With SHOES ON I stepped on those scales at WI and recorded a RECORD loss of 1.3kg!!

Now, I know it's in the morning, and I didn't eat breakfast, and I did my spitting thing, but that's an awesome loss!! I'm so fired up and ready to hit this week hard - wow! I messaged D and he sent me back a very sweet and funny message, and I messaged my mum too - good new like this should be scared!

Bye bye plateau, hello weight loss!

The only down side is I didn't eat until the meeting - so I drank a whole bottle of water (good), had a crispy cherry bar (1.5 points, not too bad) then went to m&ds to get my faithful brown havaianas and ate left over party food - namely 2 pieces of bread (not too bad) and 10 frankfurts. 10! Clearly not eating until after WI made me a bit too hungry!

In other news, NT, a good family friend was at the meeting today, which was a bit of a surprise and very nice. We went for a skim cap (I had skim tea) after the meeting and caught up. I just hope she's a bit discrete about me being on ww!! But even if she's not, surely it will be good motivation to keep going. Shazzywomble (who's blog I read and who's on the ww boards - and who's lost 50kg!) has said that it helps keep her accountable and keeps her from giving up.

Just saw on the ww planner exactly what I was fearing - they put cocktail frankfurts at 2 points a serve. If that's 2 points per frankfurt (which I think it is), that means I just ate 20 points - not to mention tomato sauce!

Sigh, well, there's nothing I can do about it now but keep moving forward.

All 1.3kg less of me!

xx

ps: in tangible results, my bmi has not gone from 30.2 to 29.5 - under 30! yay!

15 hours of sleep!! (H: 85.7)

2008-03-17T10:41:00.006+11:00

I went to sleep yesterday a bit after 5pm, and woke up this morning at a few minutes to 8am. That's almost haven't had a sleep that long for ages - I was so tired.

This weekend we had my brother J's 21st birthday, and what an event it was! 180 people 15 hours sleep! I over to hang out, have dinner and celebrate. It was heaps of fun and we really enjoyed it, and it was a good change to put some funny memories (like the time he though hairspray was deodorant, lol) - it meant some late nights though - we left sat night at 2am, and the night before were up with D's parents and friend H making ricepaper rolls til after 12:30am! Through in an engagement party on Saturday daytime, setting up at church (from 9am!) on Sunday and a book club hosted at our place on Sunday at 1pm, we had a busy weekend!! Still, it was a lot of fun, and now I've had a long long sleep, I feel refreshed :D

But, in all the busyness, I just tried to eat ok-ish, and didn't fit in any runs, and probably blew the eating. Not a binge or anything like that, just lots of food all weekend. Still, for the weekend it was, it could have been worse! Yesterday the scales at home said 86.5 (noooooo!! back again!) but today they're on 85.7, and I'm hoping they'll go down some more soon! I don't know if anyone else has found this (or if it's too much info for this blog), but food just doesn't pass through me much on ww - even though I'm eating lots still, and I'm drinking heaps of water, lots of whole grains, fruits and vegies, dairy, even metamucil. Even with exercise. So we dropped into a chemist yesterday and hopefully will clear that up soon. Lol, D reckons the weight gain is just build up inside, accounting for the 200g a day or so build up! I hope he's right - that would mean a good loss if this stuff I got works! I'd like to know if I'm the only one experiencing this, but it's not the sort of thing you can just ask someone! So if anyone reads this and feels game to comment - I'm listenning.

In other news - I did a week 3 c25k run today! And it wasn't too hard!! I didn't quite get through the second (and last) 3 minute run, but the first one I really focused on my form and I think I did pretty well. By the end of the official run, I was out of the park and over the bridge - which is pretty good I think! I'd like to get around the corner by the end of the week. Then I did my cool down, warm up and started again! I thought I'd really flake during the 3rd 3 minute run, (ie the first 3min run after restarting) but then I just made myself go until my cool down starting place. Yay! So I'm feeling a bit back on track which is good.

Although I realised, cause I did the Robert Ullruy podcast first, then went to the christian podcast for starting a new, and there's something that makes me run slower about a track that sings "my pillow is deep, the blankets warm and my bed is soft... i can think of a hundred million reasons not to get up today"!! Lol, when running after half an hour of already doing running it makes the idea of stopping for a nap very tempting! haha

This week is about getting back on track - it won't be easy, there's an ETC meeting tonight, Bible Study tomorrow, ETC Thurs - Mon and India dinner on Monday night!! But it'll just have to be ok - I'm really really ready to lose some serious numbers, and I know I'm getting a bit fitter, I can feel it in my clothes and I saw it last week with the cm's going down.

Speaking of which, I have a question - I don't know whether to add photos to this blog. So far I've tried to keep it pretty anonymous, no pictures, real names, addresses, etc. But then I find it so encouraging when I see other people's blogs with pictures, and see them actually getting smaller. Any bloggers reading this who want to let me know how you deal with this tension between internet safety and photo posting, I'd love to hear what you think.

To Do:
* get into c&e readings
* c&e week 3 done
* c&e week 4 done
* cl week 3 done
* cl readings to week 4 done
* read ethics book (done!)
* Library day on Thesis - Wed with LC
* Library day on Thesis - Thurs with JD
* Go to WI Tues 10am (done!)

xx

Up again??! (H:85.5)

2008-03-15T09:29:00.004+11:00

The scales are higher today again. I don't get it - I'm eating the same (or a bit less cause I'm scared of the scales effect!) and doing my exercise. But the scales are higher??

I put a post on the WW board about it, asking why it goes up over the weekend, and if it does for anyone else, and everyone was like "cut out alcohol" but I don't really drink! I had one glass of wine yesterday! I think I'm eating healthy::

B - vegemite toast, sml bread, sml spinach, 1/3 piece bacon; skim chai; lots of water
S - fresh pear
L - banana/skim milk/vanilla essence/ice frappe
S - fresh carrot, water
D - chicken drumstick cooked in marinade (by me at home, no oil), brown rice, steam vegies; glass of white wine, water
S - 1 prawn; apple juice (1/4 cup apple juice + water)

I really think that's not so unhealthy, I don't understand!

Maybe I need to go to the bathroom more!!

In other news, D's parents and friend HG came over last night to help make vietnamese rice paper rolls for J's 21st tonight - we made about 200!!! It took us til well after midnight, but it was really fun. They're such lovely in-laws, D's mum even bought heaps of the ingredients and they cooked and sliced the pork at home for us. I love learning how to cook traditional vietnamese food, and I tell you what, D's mum is a great teacher!

Exercise: I haven't gone for a run yet today. We woke up about 8am, and D's gone to TKD but I have a mountain of washing up after last night's extravaganza, and I feel like I don't really want to (aren't I a sook this morning...), cause it will be hard! I need to walk up to the chem's first, so maybe I can do that and then go running (then hit this washing up!)

I'm looking forward to J's party tonight - I can't believe there's 150ppl already rsvp'ed yes! My brother is a popular man. Although before that is K&J's engagement party over lunch. Big day!

To Do:
* finish speech and email to F & B (done!)
* washing up (done!)
* c25k run - week 3 run 1 (done! - took me til 17.3.08 but it's done!)
* take rolls, rice cooker, tupperware, sliced cucumber to m&ds (done! ~sorry I forgot the cucumber)
* engagement present for K&J (done!)

This always happens on Friday.. the scales start going up (H: 85.3)

2008-03-14T07:20:00.005+11:00

Over the last 3 days my home scales have gone 84.7 > 84.9 > 85.3

Nooooooo

At this rate it will be back to 86.5 on Monday!!

To Do:
* Make a copy of m&d's wedding photo for frame
* Tidy unit for in-law visit (done - and it looks great!)

xx

Let's go running, let's go, woop woop! (H: 84.9)

2008-03-14T01:47:00.006+11:00

Time for this morning's c25k run! I found a podcast with Christian Indie music on it (same format as Robert Ullruy's - tells you when to run and walk) so I might give it a go today. My challenge today is to NOT STOP during those 90 second runs - especially the last one!!

The rest of the day is for sitting at my desk and working hard! This is my study day, I'll let you know how I go.

Ooh, one thing I think I learnt though - I feel today like I can still feel last night's dinner in my belly. I think I should stop eating late at night. I know they say it's just calories in vs calories out and time of day doesn't really affect it, but I feel like it does - like (and I know this probably is totally scientifically wrong) the food isn't digesting while I sleep. Ew.

xx

I did it! Yay for me! I tried a different podcast today - a christian version of the c25k podcasts (ie a guy tells you when to run and when to walk, but over Christian music, you can download it here. It was a nice change from the techno beats of Ullruy's podcasts, but I didn't get nearly as far - I think because the music is more cruisy and laidback, I ran slower, and noticeable in the walks between the runs, I walked slower. But I still made it without stopping! And because I hadn't gone as far (I only got as far as my first c25k run, which is 6 runs ago now!) I did the whole of my track, rather than turning around halfway. I went further than I thought I would before the half hour ran out, and then in a moment of possible madness, decided to start again. So after the 5 minute cool down I restarted with a 5 minute warm up (so I had a good 10 minute rest inbetween) and fit in 2 more runs! Hopefully that will help for next week, when I'm supposed to do 3 minute runs!! (with 3 minute walks) - a big change from 90seconds! I've discovered that my total run is 4.51km by using mapmyrun.com, wow! So I should be able to run the whole way by the time I finish this course - and then some! Well, then 490m more to bring it to 5km, but I'll cross that bridge when I get to it! Ooh, and another good thing is I got 4 bonus points! for my run.

I'm kind of looking forward to Saturday's run now!

Anyway, for the rest of the day I have to finish off all the to-do lists on this blog (and then some!) so I'm off to a shower then my desk. While running I thought of 2 little rewards for my thesis:

* finish bibliograph = call grandma and ask her to teach me to play golf
* finish 4,000 words (good words!) = call Nan and organise to do a day's study at her place (change of scenery and good company :D)

D's playing in corporate games, volleyball, tonight so I'm going to watch him at 6pm. So I have at least 7 solid hours available to me to study. Wish me luck!!

To Do:
* call grandma to arrange golf lesson
* cl readings for Friday
* buy ingredients for viet rolls (done!)
* withdraw from property subject (done!)
* collect photo for 3-frame (done!)
* NRMA survey
* Buy easter eggs for Sunday (done!)
* Transpose India dates to calendar (done!)
* make appointment for vaccination
* apply for visa!

xx

Nighttime Note: Well, after a mostly good day, I went and caught up with CC (soon to be CS!) for dinner and we had pumpkin risotto and wine! I only had a small small glass of wine, but watching the risotto get made was eye-openning - stacks of butter and cheese, cripes! Very delicious, but something to definitely not order off a restaurant menu...

I swam! (H: 84.7)

2008-03-12T22:04:00.003+11:00

I had such a fun day today! I left here about 8am to go visit AP, and we went for a 'jalk' (part jog, mostly walk) around Maroubra, and had a good catch up at the same time. I really liked it, and after we had some diet jelly (yum, in 3 flavours!), slathered on the sunscreen, and then went for a swim!! It was just as nice as I'd imagined - although because of the break between the jalk and the swim the water was more 'brrr cold' getting in than 'aaahhh cold'. It wasn't particularly intense in terms of exercise, although we did 3 short runs (1 on sand!!) but we moved lots, and had a good chance to catch up and chat, and the best bit was I'm noticeably fitter than last time I went for a jalk with AP.

AP is actually one of my inspirations on this journey - she has lost something like 12 or 14 kgs using jenny craig (over several months) - but I think it's not so much the eating that impresses me (A. I can't afford to buy the jenny craig meals and B. I think learning the WW skills and implementing them as I go will hold me better in the long run) but the way she's exercising! I used to flat with AP when we started uni, and she was not big on exercising - even walking the dog. NOW, she runs almost every day, can run the whole length of maroubra beach (on sand!) and is keen to swim after. Wow!

The rest of my day I caught up with another friend EMP for coffee (well, a skim blueberry smoothie - totally worth the 4.5 points!) and we dropped in on a friend of hers called Rach, then I picked up D and we went down so he could train at TKD.
I have another little goal / idea - I'd like to be able to do tkd (it's like 10 points an hour!!), so we're thinking of D teaching the mixed Saturday morning classes and I'd participate. The only thing is I can't do 3 times a week, so it's hard to keep up with other ppl doing it. Oooh, but those exercise points!

I'm really liking the core plan so far - although I find I eat a lot less. Today I had:
B - egg on toast + water
S - diet jelly + vegemite toast + water
L - blueberry smoothie + water (although I would have eaten more if I could have)
S - water
D - brown rice with mince/spinach/carrot/soy sauce/lemongrass/chilli/hoisin sauce dish. yum! + water
... I just wasn't that hungry most of the day. And when I was hungry, I had no access to food!

At least my water intake is definitely up!

To Do:
* bib.li.o.gra.phy (done!!!)
* cl readings for Friday
* shopping for making ricepaper rolls on Fri night
* call about work days (left a message...)
* call about tutoring
* 8am: c25k run wk2 run3 (done!)

xx

I have a secret dream...

2008-03-12T12:11:00.000+11:00

... I want to run a marathon.

Come on big bum, run!

2008-03-12T04:58:00.001+11:00

I so don't feel that much like running right now. I mean, I want to feel the way I feel after a run, but I so don't want to actually do the run. I'm here, in my running clothes, socks and shoes on, blogging about how I don't feel like going running. After such a crappy result at WI yesterday, it seems a waste of time - futile. But I said I would, so I will.

In other news, I'm joining the Core Plan (where you don't count "points" for foods, you just eat off this big list of foods, til you're full, but not til you're over-full). Hope it helps!

xx

UH OH: It's almost 2 hours after that post and I'm still here, in my running gear, reading blogs and WW message boards, still haven't run. Hmmmm

YES! I DID IT! Finally, after 2 hours of procrastinating and telling myself it'd be futile I got off my ass and went for my run! I'm super-fair, and feel the sun very easily, so running at 10am rather than 8am was a good reminder of the benefits of just getting up and doing it early - it's harder when it's hotter!

It was a good and a bad run. I ran further than I had before (yay!), just by a metre or two, but I've realised I'm going about 30 or more metres further now than when I started (yay again!) and that will soon enough turn into kms if I just keep going at it. I also ran better - the first half was good, and I know I ran faster and with better form (even if I did walk a bit slower between runs cause I was more puffed!). That said, the last two runs were hard - I actually walked for a few steps in the 5th run (although I ran through a few seconds of the walk time to try and make up for it, lol), and actually didn't make the 6th run. I walked probably half of it, trying to run a few steps now and then. That makes me really unfit! But it's ok - I'll keep doing it. I'll go on Thursday, and maybe do this run again on Saturday if I still can't make it the whole way. But then again, with Dave behind me I did make it the whole way last time (although not with as good a form or as fast), so I will just have to push harder on Thursday and make it!

Every time I finish a run I think about how nice it would be to have a swim (probably cause I'm so hot and sweaty!). Tomorrow I'd like to do something about that - in fact, by the end of tomorrow I'll go for a swim. It's not even like I have the excuse of budget, cause I live in Sydney for goodness sake, and there's heaps of free beach pools! I think I'll actually message AP and ask if she wants to go with me tomorrow morning. Sounds like fun!

To Do:
* Call AP about swimming tomorrow (done!)
* c&e readings
* thesis bibliography (this is getting ridiculous)(done!)
* bring in the washing (done!)
* finish washing up (done - thanks D!)
* make the bed (done!)
* sort out the filing on our bedside tables
* c&e letter
* c&e tax advice
* buy bread and milk (done!)

xx

A pair of brown havaianas (-0.7, still)

2008-03-11T16:24:00.000+11:00

That's all I lost today. Actually, I didn't really lose at all. I weighed exactly the same. The only thing I can say is that I wore my havaianas this week, that I'd taken off last week. So I guess I actually lost 300g.

After such a hard week of huffing and puffing and tracking, that sux.

So what did I do? I came home, ate two chocolates, a baileys with milk (skim, but only cause that's all we had), made buttered popcorn and was going to eat the whole batch but D came home. I was like "I weigh the same! Let's just go get KFC" but he was like "that's still good, you didn't put on weight and with all your exercise I bet it's muscle". Hmph. Amazingly he was even positive about staying the same.

The one good news? I lost average 2cm from my measurements. So maybe it is working?

Then again, someone else who started the same day as me got her bookmark for losing 5kg at today's meeting. It made my total loss of 0.7kg look pretty crappy..

BUT I'm not giving up - tomorrow I'm running again.

xx

I'm happy!

2008-03-10T15:49:00.001+11:00

I've been having such a happy day! I think yesterday I felt gross cause I didn't exercise, but today has been a day of being chirpy & cheerful :D

We had a good morning - and D came with my on my run! Lol, he's so great, I was nervous about going with him (he's SO fit - 4th dan blackbelt in TKD, vs me, struggling through my first week of 60 second runs!). But he made it so much fun, even what he originally came out wearing with his joggers had me laughing so hard before we started. It was really fun to go out together and I made it! The last 90 second run was sooo hard, but gee I felt a sense of pride when I finished. And I'm actually looking forward to the next one!

Ooh, by the way, on the theme of exercise, I tried some pushups tonight (watching So You Think You Can Dance
with my legs on the couch and my arms on the floor and I did 10 (they're hard!). So I'm feeling really good.

I also got back on track with my eating, yay! Yesterday was such an intense eating day, with prayer breakfast, then LR's 21st for lunch, and CC's hens night for dinner (a lebanese feast!) so I'm glad today was better. Here's a quick timeline of my day:
8am wake up and get out of bed (already in my running top and trakkies, lol)
8:30am go for my first week 2 c25k run (and survive it!)
9:00am get back home, have a shower
10am church - IT was there again, which was kind of cool. It's encouraging seeing new people. Awesome talk on Exodus, heaps encouraging. And on the way down (and back) we sang super-loud to my new theme song (yes, I have a theme song!) - "Moving Forward" by Hoobastank. Awesome ^^

And I take, the first step of a million more.
And I'll make mistakes I've never made before.
But at least I'm moving forward, at least I'm moving forward.
At least I'm moving forward...

I wonder if, the journey will be,
Shorter as I hope, or much longer than it seems.
But either way, I've made up my mind.
I'm through feeling scared, I'm leaving that behind.

Sooo, Now it's time to gooo.

And I take, the first step of a million more.
And I'll make mistakes I've never made before.
But at least I'm moving forward, at least I'm moving forward.
At least I'm moving forward...

12pm went shopping, bought JS's 21st present (ipod) and negotiated the price down by 10%, at Myer!! While shopping we bought popcorn to snack on - air-popped of course.
1pm lunch with D's parents (pie, so many points! but with green tea and with fruit salad for dessert
4pm come home for a nap, mmm, I love my naps
8pm dinner - my healthy tuna/egg salad with lots of water (flavoured with orange pieces, yum!)
now filling in my blog (obviously) and watching transformers with D, he's like a kid in a candy store!

It might not sound like the most interesting day every, but I loved it and had so much fun :D Ooh, and I'm currently at 11,582 steps!! Go me! hehe

The only thing still to do is some serious uni work, but I'm kind of keen for WI tomorrow. Although I'm heavier after yesterday, I feel back on track and I'm feeling glad. In fact, I'm happy and feeling on track and really happy. *smile!*

To Do:
* that bibliography! (done!)
* finish CL reading (done!)
* c&e reading for this week
* c&e lecture (done!)
* c&e workshop (done!)

xx

I feel gross

2008-03-09T13:00:00.000+11:00

Today started well - we woke up early (6:30! Alarm was going off since 6!) and went down to our church's prayer breakfast, which was good, and had weetbix, skim milk, little bit of yoghurt and fresh fruit. We left about 10:15 and headed home, but by the time we got home I felt gross. We went to L's 21st, which was lovely - she's so good for my brother, and it was so nicely set up - there was lots of fresh fruit and lunch was wraps and sandwiches, and dessert was lots (and I mean LOTS) of fresh fruit, which I ate lots of. Probably too much. My downfall was punch - she had these amazing punches (one passionfruit, one strawberry/mint, etc), and I had 3 glasses! It was so much fun though, and good to meet new people and catch up with some old friends, as well as meet L's family.

She had the most nicest speeches I've heard for a long time, and really creatively done. And she said the most lovely and articulate thank you speech. It was really nice to be a part of it.

However, feeling gross, we left by about 3pm, and came home and went to sleep. I only just woke up, 3 hours later, because some downstairs neighbour was planing Usher at about 1000 decibles, and arguing about a dog.

Tonight I my friend's CC's hens night, and I'm looking forward to it, but I've eated almost all my points (18.5 already today!) so I'm a bit nervous about blowing all my hard work (especially bc the scales went down a little further!) and I feel a bit gross and not really like eating at all, or dancing. Still, a hens night is a hens night and I want to be there.

Ooh, ooh, and last night was our 6 months of being married date night! We went to a vietnamese restaurant and had pho (9 points) and then to the lindt cafe where we shared a hot chocolate and the most expensive piece of cake ever ($11.50!!) But it was all in my points and SO much fun. And after we saw "Run Fatboy Run" at the movies - so funny! Totally inspired me to become a runner. Awesome.

So, that's all for me. I might actually try and go for a run, thinking of that movie. Just goes to show, it's better (for me at least) to go in the morning, so I actually go.

xx

The scales they are a-moving!

2008-03-08T04:48:00.002+11:00

This morning, I stepped on those scales, the ones at home not the WW WI scales, and they were going down! ooh I'm so excited! They were hovering between 86-87 for the last few days, and this morning they were 85.4! Now, I know that's not actually my weight, because these are pretty non-exact scales I bought from woolworths for less than $20, and they always show me as less than the WW scales (or any other scales actually, but it's better than being shown as more!) BUT that doesn't matter cause it's not the numbers I'm excited about but the DIRECTION of the scales - DOWN!!

So, a couple of achievements since my last post:
* I made it to 10,000 steps! This was actually a bit harder yesterday, because despite going for my c25k jog (almost 5,000 steps) and a walk with the girls yesterday, I still ended up having to march on the spot in my loungeroom to get the last 600 steps (much to D's amusement!)
* I made healthy mcdonalds choices (I know, "is that even possible??" I hear you say) - you bet! I had a large diet coke (ok so not "healthy" but at least points-free) and their new apple pieces. go me!
* I saw my friends :D
* I made a start on my study, and noticed that I'm feeling less stressed out

So, they're just little steps, but every bit helps :D

Yesterday, after getting back from my run, having some breakfast and doing yesterday's blog, I called DJ and caught up with her. We went to Koorong to buy a present for L's 21st (a great book called "proclaiming the gospel" by John Dickson which I would totally recommend for all Christians to read), and had a good chat, then went to HW's place for lunch (a nutella sandwich - not the most healthy, but not the worst either) and the 3 of us went for a walk through the park. We hung out for a bit then when HW and B had to go food shopping DJ and I left and went to MR's place, to pick him up and go for maccas and a chocolate milkshake (danger danger!). Instead though, we went to a gelato place (lol I basically drove there instead) and I had a kid's scoop of lemon sorbet (2 points) and then we went to maccas where I had diet coke and apple slices (total = 0.5 points). Then after dropping DJ and MR home, I went grocery shopping (and I did good! fruit, vegies, wholegrain bread, WW bars, yoghurt for (my husband) D, normal bars for D and toothbrushes) and home to unpack and start to cook dinner. It was a good fulfilling day, and I got to see my 3 best friends! :D

All in all, a happy day.

Today I have a challenge though... I want to do set exercise again (4th day in a row!) but not walking, cause my feet are so sore! Maybe a swim (ideally) or something else for half an hour. I might try sit ups, push ups, squats, star jumps, lunges, around my unit, or a Denise Austin video. Hmm, I was about to write that I don't know what I could do - but there's a few options I guess! I fact, I might do the "Super Stomachs" video now. haha, we bought these OLD 80's exercise videos from a garage sale - I've only done one of them so far. They're pretty funny!

To do today:
* Go to CL lecture (done!)
* Go to CL workshop (done!)
* Reading for CL (done!)
* Denise Austin stomach DVD (done - ouch!)
* Start Thesis Bibliography!! (done!)
* Post mail (stamped, gotta send - done!)

xx

(ps: in some other exciting news - today is 6 months since D & I got married!)

xx

Running Champ! :D

2008-03-07T04:22:00.002+11:00

Ok, so I'm not quite as fit as the girl in this pic just yet, BUT I've completed my 3rd c25k run (!!!) AND I went a bit further, a bit faster and a bit better than the last time. Especially, I didn't have to stop, even though it was a bit of a killer by the end. Yay!

More good news - doing today's run makes today my 3rd straight day of doing planned exercise (omg is it really me?) and I actually enjoy it. I mean, its not super-intense, just the two runs and an hour's walk over 3 days, but I was quite looking forward to getting out each time. I'm nervous though, next c25k run is level 2!! Which means 90 second runs instead of 60 seconds, and shorter breaks in between - eek!

In other news, we had my dad's birthday celebration last night and I was good! We had roast meat with vegies and a potato/sweet potato/pumpkin dish - so I filled half my plate with point-free vegies (yum!) and 3 slices of meat, and then added just the smallest amount of the potato thing - like one tbsp. And I chose diet softdrinks and water, passed on all but the smallest bit of wine (like, I had 1/4 of a small glass) and I was so full. We had brie with crackers and dip before dinner, so I watched how many I had and tracked them, and for dessert I filled up on fruit (even choosing the fresh, not dried fruit) and passed on the baklava. I had the smallest taste of cake, which was enough and treated myself to one ferrero rocher. And the best bit? I was still totally full. In fact, I was quite bloated. But I was under my points for the day!! And I didn't even have to go into my exercise points! That's my little achievement, to have done a celebration and stayed on track, yay!

AND just one more achievement, I walked over 11,000 steps yesterday! That makes for one very happy pedometre.

So, I still have a long way to go to 58kg, and this is just the beginning, and it's only Thursday and WI isn't til Monday, but I feel ontrack and I tell you what, it feels better than feeling out of control. And hopefully, I'll get my 500g loss come Monday, that would be a very nice bonus.

Other things to do today:
* hang out the washing (done!)
* buy L a 21st present (done!)
* call Miss D about a catch up (done!)
* finish CL readings (done!)
* thesis bibliography (gotta start that huh)(done!)

xx

Exerciser Extraordinaire

2008-03-06T04:33:00.000+11:00

I am a little energiser exercise bunny! Ok, well not so little just yet, but I will be! After my 'jalk' (little bit of jog, lots of walk) yesterday using the c25k program - today is meant to be a day off. So, I walked with D up to the station, and then walked to our amazing park and kept on walking for just over an hour. Which, can I proudly say, is equal to 4 bonus points! yay me! It also took me to 7670 steps on my very happy pedometre, and all by 9am.

The c25k program is awesome, mostly because it comes with podcasts. D's very generous parents gave me an ipod nano that they got with a new computer, so I've loaded it up with the c25k podcasts and it's great to have some music and a person in your ear telling you what to do, when to run, when to go back to a brisk walk. AND I recently discovered the most amazing park near our place - with a golf course and a river and sports fields and tennis courts and little bridges - that I'd never known existed! So I can go out and it's a really nice feeling, there's shade on the bike/walk path, there's a river, there's no traffic. It really made my run yesterday and walk today feel like 'me time'.

Oooh, another little achievement, is that I stuck under my points yesterday! I'm allowed 21, and I only used 20! yay! And I also earned 2.5 bonus points which are sitting happily saved.

So, now to shower, make myself a yum banana smoothie (new discovery - a banana, cup of skim milk, handful of ice, vanilla essence and blend) for breakfast and settle down to some hard-core uni work.

This is the week I will look forward to WI

xx

Everyone else's blog has a picture...

2008-03-05T14:47:00.000+11:00

so here's virtual me at starting weight! check out the RHS margin for virtual me @ 58kg :D

WI: my first gain (-0.7)

2008-03-05T12:48:00.000+11:00

Well, weigh in (WI) was yesterday, and I put on 400g. But you know, 400g in the scheme of things is not un-recoverable. To be honest, I sneakily slipped off my shoes, and those little brown havianas are about 300g, so it was really 700g I put on, but I didn't want to face it. The only relief was that the person before me in the WI put on weight too - which sounds slack but the staff were saying it's common around week 4 to put on weight. They said they don't know why. But, looking over my past week, I have a few hunches.

I stopped exercising. Pretty much at all.
I skipped breakfast and then splurged through the day
I stopped drinking all my water, then ate when I was thirsty, or worse, drank softdrinks (overweight people just don't have the calories to waste on liquids)
I ate a lot, and didn't track it - I had ice-cream, cake, pastas, soft drinks, alcohol, hungry jacks, macdonalds (ha! it's amazing it was only 400g!)
When I did track, I went past 30-40 points (instead of the 20 I'm meant to stick to!!)

So, now I know what to change at least!!

It was really stressful last night and today, and I snapped at D this morning. Badly. I just felt out of control again, and I didn't want to end up giving in to being out of control, or over-controlling either. Not easy.

Today, so far I've been good. I'm still within my points and I think I've done OK - toast with vegimite, skim chai, poached egg and toast, lamb with pasta, lots of water, sprite zero, sugarfree gum. I mean, it's not the best, but I avoided the butter, the fried egg, the full cream milk, the normal soft drink, the takeaway. So, fingers crossed it keeps going to the end of today!! Then, start again tomorrow.

It doesn't matter how small a loss is, as long as it's a loss. So, I gotta keep losing.

xx

My first post (-1.1)

2008-03-04T13:43:00.000+11:00

Starting off! I've just read so many blogs from links on WW boards and browsing through links to those blogs and I think I could do it too. Mostly it's just so inspiring, people losing 30kg's or more, and being able to look back and see their journeys. Incredible.

Today is WI at WW, 3rd one so far. I started at 87.2kg, then was 86.6, then 86.1, so I'm hoping hoping hoping this week is a loss. I didn't track though, or really exercise, so I don't think it'll happen, but I hope.

And either way, I'm not giving up. If I've realised one thing, it's that this will only be successful if I stay at it. I want to be 58kgs. And the scary thing, is that is inside my 'healthy weight range'. Damn.

My hope, is that I get to 58kgs, then I can show my amazingly supportive husband 'D' this blog and he can see my journey through. If I get to that, D, I love you, and you have been so amazingly supportive thru these first 2 weeks. This is for you, and one day, if we're so blessed, for our little yoda :)